Maxim 6: If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

To come with a well-informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the...

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, converting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and...

It made Craze smile, despite wishing most of his body parts would find new homes and leave him in peace.

Big flashy things have my name written all over them. Well… not yet, give me time and a crayon.

Kurt pick his way around testing for heat before taking each step and avoiding places where the ash was heaps up.

The thing about changing the world… Once you do it, the world’s all different.

When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. “Put your clothes in for a wash,” he said. “They were disgusting.”Ginny always thought that the only way of getting...

A sense of humour is a sense of proportion.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Facebook should start publishing breakup stories. ‘So and so and so and so are no longer in a relationship.’ With a tombstone next to it.

You’re not?

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts

So then do you think it’s true that he killed someone? And what about the part where he wishes he could die?””If it IS true that he killed someone, that’s bad.”In any case, “it seems...

I want a new liver to replace my heart.””Um, why?””Because then I could drink more and care less.

There is indeed a great deal of futility amongst the human race which we do not commonly see, for it all forms part of our illusion; but let a man be much annoyed by something...

To refer even in passing to unpublished or struggling authors and their problems is to put oneself at some risk, so I will say here and now that any unsolicited manuscripts or typescripts sent to...

You’re a sweetie. I appreciate you cheering me on from the sidelines. But I think I need to go to the bathroom now and throw up.

Why don’t you go to bed for a bit, Glory?” suggested Robert. “It’s been a hell of a war.”It’s been a hell of a war, he said. I’ll never forget it.

Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.

I know. The problem is, he knows it, too.

I love you,” I whispered hoarsely. “You’re my favourite person.” The tears blurred in my eyes again. “And if you ever tell anyone I cried during this moment I will withhold sex for a year.

Cake.” I admired his directness.

My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.

101 Reason why its its great to be a woman : Since the advent of feminism, we can publicly ogle male bodies and not be called sexist. If a man indulges in this behavior over...

I got this to say. You’re acting like a crowd of kids.

if you’re a teenaged babysitter caring for a mute toddler in a remote Maine cabin during a once-in-a-century blizzard while and escaped killers (bearing a strange resemblance to the handicapped boy you and your friends...

Detective Inspector Eccles sighed. He may ordinarily have met his sigh with the question of why the newly appointed Superintendent Dickinson was turning up to this late hour crime scene, he may also ordinarily question...

I’m so honest, that in order to compliment you, I’d improve you first.

Time cleaning was less time reading, so I usually just did the minimal amount, and left it for another day, a day that would never come.

With him big Phil from Notting Hill an old “face” from the sixties a pin up gangster with a “mars bar” weal scraping his left cheek and of course two “wag” slags in tow trussed...

The varying physical characteristics of the actors may also necessitate changes. Sean Connery is six feet four. Dustin Hoffman isn’t.

Newton Pulsifer had never had a cause in his life. Nor had he, as far as he knew, ever believed in anything. It had been embarassing, because he quite wanted to believe in something, since...

Oh, I wasn’t saying no,” Mistress Weatherwax said, taking two large pickled cucumbers.

How often misused words generate misleading thoughts.

I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

I believe that if it were left to artists to choose their own labels, most would choose none.

This was fast becoming messy war with our hall now covered in foam and a puddle of green slime…

Try jogging when following your heart, it’s healthier

Christmas comes but once a year, starts in August ends in July

We, you say? What do you think I can do about it? I can’t even walk without help. How can you and I set about preventing a murder? You’re about a hundred and I’m a...

When he didn’t answer, she didn’t know if it was because he couldn’t or if he was back to not talking to her. Back to pushing her out of his life.Men! Why was it that...

Baumauer secretly fears Kalist – and Kalist knows it.

An overnight bag with the company logo – a white silhouette of a finch (which once perched on the curved back of a stallion representing cofounder, Orwell, but has now been ‘adjusted’) – sits motionless...

I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week by sending me an envelope that, when opened, contained a torn-off square of...

And to officially declare you have talent ” Suzy returned.

I mean to say, really, I am near to developing a neurosis – is there anyone around who doesn’t want to study or kill me?”Floote raised a tentative hand.”Ah, yes, thank you, Floote.””There is also...

Most men are not wicked… They are sleep-walkers, not evil evildoers.

Ik rende naar de badkamer en kotste alles er boven de wasbak weer uit.Dat luchtte op. Ik spoelde mijn mond en strompelde terug naar het bed.Even later hoorde ik mijn vader roepen: ‘Shit, Max, shít!...