Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?” said a cold, drawling voice.Draco Malfoy had arrived for a closer look, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him.”Yeah, reckon so,” said Harry casually.”Got plenty of special features, hasn’t...

I prefer dead writers because you don’t run into them at parties.

God does not play dice, bankers do.

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever...

A few years ago it dawned on me that everybody past a certain age … pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives. They don’t want to be who they are...

When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with crayons.

There was something strangely compelling about a Japanese guy with lamb-chop sideburns and a voice so shrill you could be forgiven for thinking his testicles were wired to the national grid.

Adams dealt him so sound a Compliment over his Face with his Fist, that the Blood immediately gushed out of his Nose in a Stream. The Host being unwilling to be outdone in Courtesy, especially...

Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk or something?” Minho asked, pulling Thomas’s attention away from Alby.”Go ahead,” Newt replied.Minho nodded and faced the crowd. “Be careful,” he said dryly. “Don’t die.

You’ll be alright,” I say, “Mum likes you.

Tag opened the door to his knock, and with a look of disappointment, peered behind Wade.”You got someone better coming over?” Wade asked him.”Pizza,” Tag said.

Yes, but none of them can steal my ship.None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right thing to do at the time.-Captain Tagon & Ennesby

I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within.

I also think pronunciation of a foreign tongue could be better taught than by demanding from the pupil those internal acrobatic feats that are generally impossible and always useless. This is the sort of instruction...

A man is known by the company of the phone he keeps.

I don’t like good habits. They strike me as being so easily broken.

when you step on fire no matter how far you ran your feet will still burn

How do you explain plastic to a medieval forest bard?

The wind was against them now, and Piglet’s ears streamed behind him like banners as he fought his way along, and it seemed hours before he got them into the shelter of the Hundred Acre...

David had left her,taking his insane jealousy with him.

State your point. If the opposite party doesn’t agree, state it harder- with a punch.

…the more of a fool a man is, the less he cares to look like one

I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I’d enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber.

Think for youself but not because I said so!

The unfortunate 8075 hadn’t survived his assault, splintering apart, fragments of its casing skittering across the bench. The battery within had split along its plane, revealing something as out-of-place as a missile in a bathtub.

Ender began to eat, slowly and carefully, pretending not to notice he was the center of attention.

The easiest way to make money is to be funny. The easiest way to be regarded as funny is to have money.

Kaede: I know this, ungrateful dog. In order to find the sacred jewel shards, Kagome’s spirtual power is essential. Yet ye made her upset with your words an sent her running homeInuYasha: That was her...

Prose fills a space, like a liquid poured in from the top, but poetry occupies it, arrays itself in formation, sets up camp and refuses to budge.

(on the word “fuck”)’Oh, come on, Mum,’ I sighed at her protest. ‘It’s just an old Anglo-Saxon word for the female organ which has been adopted by an inherently misogynist language as a negative epithet....

I find that the old Roman baths of this quarter, were found covered by an old burying ground, belonging to the Abbey; through which, in all probability, the water drains in its passage; so that...

Life is a circus: you go in, bow, run around, bow again and leave.

It’s the oasis,” said the camel driver.”Well, why don’t we go there right now?” the boy asked.”Because we have to sleep.

I’m off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.

The English language is like London: proudly barbaric yet deeply civilised, too, common yet royal, vulgar yet processional, sacred yet profane. Each sentence we produce, whether we know it or not, is a mongrel mouthful...

Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail…

..the nuclear family from across the street, which, as a result of decay, truly did have 2.5 kids;

I am an optimist and when I am too sure of something or someone, well, of course it turns out that I am wrong .. at other situations, I imagine the worst and needless to...

I once went to one of his Virgin Vie parties and had a really good time watching Chas having a paddy whilst trying to put on Dave’s socks, before realising that he only had two...

I have absolutely no idea, Melinda,” he said, grinning.

… It’s perfect! Locke would appreciate it.””Bug,” Calo said, “Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are ‘Locke would appreciate...

Look,’ said Cyrus, raising his knife again and pointing it at her. ‘Give me one reason why we shouldn’t kill your boyfriend over there. Come on. The dark scowling face is reason enough in my...

Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach; those who can’t teach, police grammar on the Internet.

Could I please amend that suggestion? Could you not be there in the second darkest shadow one hour before midnight, to see who steps into the darkest shadow?

Chasing something external to satisfy the internal is a hollow practice. The only thing you can chase is yourself and you are already here!

I fended them off as best I could while trying to shield my eyes but, tragically, I’d left my flamethrower in my other suit.

…Recognising, as I do, that you are the second highest expert in Europe–“”Indeed, sir! May I inquire who has the honour to be the first?” Asked Holmes, with some asperity.”To the man of precised, scientific...

I don’t believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me

Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are”.

Smile and make someone’s day better