Good character is Beauty

Someone will complete you some day and that day will never be late. Those nouns and verbs are above wonderful and never ending .

Ladies, we are at a massive disadvantage in the workplace. Your male peers are flirting with their male bosses constantly. The average workplace is like f*cking Bromancing the Stone. That’s basically what male bonding is....

My greatest strength is an unfocused mind. This is because while you are all thinking of one idea, I’m thinking of five different ideas. My greatest weakness however is an unfocused mind. This is because...

I remembered that Beethoven’s symphonies had sometimes been given names… they should have call [the Fifth] the Vampire, because it simply refused to lie down and die.

Question everything, unless it’s the answer

There’s only one person to blame for lack of self confidence

Weather is a purely personal matter. There is no such thing as a climate that is cold or hot, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. People take it upon themselves to create a fantasy in...

Later in the week Mr Knox’s Annie bicycled over to see Stoker and ask her to waive the lien which she had on her sister’s services, as they would be required for the weekend.’She’s having...

Baumauer wants a life in which he cannot be belittled, judged or controlled by worse men.

When I write, it feels like there are two little creatures that sit on each of my shoulders. One whispers, “You can do this. You’ve got what it takes.” The other sounds like my mother-in-law.

This shows you that even mistakes are sometimes valuable, so do not be hard on grown-up people if they are wrong sometimes.

Weak and trembling from passion, Major Flint found that after a few tottering steps in the direction of Tilling he would be totally unable to get there unless fortified by some strong stimulant, and turned...

One word came to mind: pee-yew. Evan tried to place the odor; it wasn’t a heap of decayed garbage or that of a spoiled fish. Truth be told, he smelled like rotten cheese.

It doesn’t matter what your boss thinks as long as he doesn’t cry.

Edward, Edward,” he said with a patronising smile, “there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can’t find the correct answer then...

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.

Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t

Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.

Yeah, I had an argument with a vacuum cleaner hose, it wanted me to it a blowjob, but I refused so it took offence. It claimed I blew everyone else’s attachment and it wasn’t fair.

philosophy is not suited for the masses, what they need is holiness.

Life is an unfinished art, few master it, most just bark.

What is the meaning of life?” asked man.”Seek and ye shall find,” said God. “That was my method.”The man replied, “How might I do that?””Take a setting,” instructed God. “Add some dirt and water, mold...

it will be generally found that the popular joke is not true to the letter, but is true to the spirit. The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the...

Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he’d ever been shot at with.

Welcome to your new bodies, gentlemen. If you’d like, I can help you start your owm ‘dysmorphia is all in your head’ support group.-Doctor Bunnigus

I’ve done this sort of thing before. Not prophecies so much, but you’d be surprised how many people want to realign their ancestral lines to seem nobler, or rewrite their family history to remove more...

If he were a man of strong mind, it only gave him fits; but a person of mere average intellect it usually sent mad.

My philosophy in life is to eat, drink and investigate – in that order.

All I could determine was that it must have been a nice thing to see if it was a house you were thinking about moving into. But not so nice if it was the house...

Yves. You are goint to love him all over again when you meet him, believe me. You’re married.’ ‘I’m what? But I can’t be more than eighteen!’ ‘My son is very persuasive,’ said Saul proudly.

You can’t believe everything people tell you – not even if those people are your own brain.

transformed” her into a cheerleader by the end of the show. I was just wondering: what if she liked field hockey better?

Cordelia: I personally don’t think it’s possible to come up with a crazier plan.Oz: We attack the Mayor with hummus.Cordelia: I stand corrected.Oz: Just keeping things in perspective.

I’m so sorry. I think I’m just tired.” The socially accepted excuse for being mental.

…and specimens like this confirmed there had been some kind of divine rule in the universe because no natural selection process was up to the task of creating something like him. This was some god’s,...

Maturity.” My dad backed out of the room and closed the door.

I’d use the term ‘suck’ sparingly around me. Don’t want to go planting ideas in my pretty, dead head.”I threw a pillow at her.

He realised he was in a chair. The world was white and blurry in half his vision, and it took him a few moments to realise a sheet of paper was stuck to his face.

A pair of young mothers now became the centre of interest. They had risen from their lying-in much sooner than the doctors would otherwise have allowed. (French doctors are always very good about recognizing the...

Hey a rant. Haven’t done one of those in a while. S’good to stretch out the Longevitus Ranticus section of the brain once in a while, otherwise you just become passive and might even- god...

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman

A credit card allows you transcend time. For it allows you to put off until tomorrow what you bought today, while you are still paying what you bought yesterday.

Step up to red alert.”Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.” – Rimmer & Kryten, “Red Dwarf

Did you slip in some cheese? Did it make you hate cheese, which you had previously loved? Why not sue a cheese-maker? Sue him for all the cheese he’s got, drive him out of the...

Enjolras caught glimpses of a luminous uprising under the dark skirts of the future.

I think cynicism often disguises itself as humour.

She was heavier than he expected – women always are.

Wrong amulet!”The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn’t much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawedat the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off;...

Love is like a lost fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.