Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can’t resist seeing how it happens.

After a lifetime of soft, easy living in the West, one’s buttocks take an awful hammering out here. Backpacking around India is just one long round of sitting on bone-hard, chafing, bruising and generally uncomfortable...

We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.Cross it? I’m making plans to destroy the bridge from orbit.-Colonel Ceeta & Captain Tagon

Hopeless. Freak. Elephant. Pitiful

Two whores who finally found something to mother. A guy could write a book about it, he thought bitterly, call it From Hair To Maternity. It would probly be a very long book. Whores did...

To find your way you must first take the steps

I’m the Doctor; I’m worse than everybody’s aunt!

Sometimes you know you’ve got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn’t so messed up, it wouldn’t be like that. If the world was normal, a...

Tonight sucks. And look at me. Look at – look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And-and my job at the magic shop? I was bored...

Eton produced Society’s Monsters – everyone knew that. Politicians, mostly, and occasionally people who ran banks and all the other institutions that stole the world’s spoils for themselves.

Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory?

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

I love therapy. I don’t get the taboo about seeking therapy at all. It’s exactly like taking Buzzfeed quizzes. At the end of the day, we all want to know what cocktail we are. But...

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Louis-Cesare and Ray were in trouble.I could tell because I could see them, not clearly, but in fits and starts, little glimmers like a couple of ghosts, if ghosts made “oh shit” faces on the...

The sign of a good conscience is for a man to be in support of basically everything that Westboro Baptist isn’t.

I was not so comfortable with my new authority that I could say ‘We eat the chicken now!’ but the magus had seen that I was considering it…”My purse is full enough,” said the magus,...

He’d done it like he did everything else—with passion and total disregard for how much it might embarrass her.

Anywhere you are standing right now is like no where else on earth. So look at the cars, the trees, the buildings and soak it all in.

Just leave me alone, I want to be alone,” she said when Jack tried to open the car door. She hit the lock, and wound the window up. Since the roof was down, it was...

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

A text pops up on the screen. It’s from Luis. I can’t help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.Luis: Hey

He turned around, suddenly concerned. “Are you pregnant? Are you gay? I’d rather you were gay than pregnant. Unless you’re pregnant. Then we’ll deal. Whatever it is, we’ll deal. Are you pregnant?

I’ve never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn’t it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you’re here?

While an author is yet living we estimate his powers by his worst performance, and when he is dead we rate them by his best.

Meg’s face clouded, and I wondered if she was going to rain the way people do sometimes.

Winner is Not Winner Until Someone Lose.

A Christian telling an atheist they’re going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they’re not getting any presents from Santa.

The theory of attachment is same for humans and computers. Unknown sender’s attachment is blocked..Known sender’s attachment is accepted or ignored..Heavy attachments are annoying..Too heavy attachments do not reach..No attachment is the best option!

Don’t mind Russ,” he says. “He’s a good kid underneath all those holes, although it’s a wonder he doesn’t spring a leak when he drinks

The devil was always in the detail. And here the detail was certainly devilish.

The course of true love never die run smooth

Oh, don’t be absurd, man.’ The Prime Minister sat back in his chair. ‘Come on. We can’t just ban a thing because we can’t control it.’The minister responsible for health and safety looked startled. ‘I...

Every discussion with a girl is an argument, and when you think you are right suddenly you realize that your trapped.

We need to reclaim the word ‘feminism’. We need the word ‘feminism’ back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist – and only 42%...

The worst mistake a writer can make is to assume everyone has an imagination.

I would say that it is too late for that, my lord,” a feminine voice answered from the group gathered in the courtyard. They all turned to find the queen dressed in chain mail and...

Never say no to now

If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead

Isabelle: Do you want some soup?Jace: NoIsabelle: Do you think Hodge will want some soup?Jace: No one wants soupSimon: I want some soup!Jace: No, you don’t. You just want to sleep with Isabelle

Could I speak to you for a moment, madam?’ said Nannie to Agnes.It was at moments of crisis like this that Mary chiefly envied her Aunt Agnes’s imperturbable disposition. Most mothers feel a hideous sinking...

You are a more powerful person than you might have ever imagined.” Maxwell D. Kalist.

You’re a fat cunt and you can’t add up to save your life.” Dimitri Pissec.

Hey, Geekoid!” yelled Duncan Dougal, “Why do you read so much? Don’t you know how to watch TV?

Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter…with alliteration, no less!

When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.

Nefarious purposes translation: For disgusting demon sex and the birth of the Devil incarnate. Nice.

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can’t be...

Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.