Ever director has at least 10 bad films in them.

You’ve jerked my heart more than your dick.

Yellow flowers are like physical manifestations of sunlight. I’m growing a garden of sunglasses just to help save eyesight and make the world a little bit cooler.

You want to change? Lose the bitch. Be nicer to people. Stop telling them to “bite you” and threatening to kick them until they’re dead.

One ought to have some sort of transcendent realization that the world exists because the gods are trapped in the same abyss you’ve occupied for three years. It should be inspiring or comforting or, I...

Once you start, you just can’t stop.

He snuffles. Oh, no.He’s not going to cry, is he? Because even though it’s sweet when guys cry, I am so not prepared for this.Girl scouts didn’t teach me what to do with emotionally unstable...

Be that as it may, it may be maybe, or it may be May, Bee.

Hate people on an individual basis only – you must actually get to know someone at least slightly before you can properly hate him or her.

You climbed into my window in the middle of the night. So, either you’re some kind of Vampire or some kind of Perv. Which is it?

Those darling byegone times, Mr Carker,’ said Cleopatra, ‘with their delicious fortresses, and their dear old dungeons, and their delightful places of torture, and their romantic vengeances, and their picturesque assaults and sieges, and everything...

I live a single life. But only because there’s not enough room in my astronaut suit for two. There’s no love on the moon.

I think I might be bi-polar. It’s not normal to be this emotionally unstable.

For dinner I had seared sneer with a glaze of distant gaze, and a side of mashed pride covered in grace.

Things will happen that you can’t prevent, things will fall apart that you can’t hold together, but ultimately you’re shaping yourself and that final product speaks volumes about who you really are, not what people...

This person has hoped and dreamed and now it is really happening and this person can hardly believe it. But believing is not an issue here, the time for faith and fantasy is over, it...

My job is to draw little points on little graphs and to derive little information.

Love is two spirits occupying one bottle of spirit. You’ve got to be 21 to drink of me.

Then make sure nothing happens to you. This Kingdom needs a Queen who can show these men we’re not all delicate little flowers.

My skin hasn’t been sleeping. It stays awake just itching for a fight.

When at a networking event, there’s usually a guy alone in the corner talking to himself. That guy is me. Stop by and say hi. My nametag will say Bob, because even if you’re dyslexic...

What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone’s been on a 747.

Bottled, was he?” Said Colonel Bantry, with an Englishman’s sympathy for alcoholic excess. “Oh, well, can’t judge a fellow by what he does when he’s drunk? When I was at Cambridge, I remember I put...

third wheel,” I rode my tricycle to the restaurant where they were having their first date. I didn’t bring my wallet, so I hope they don’t mind paying for my dinner too. Ah, but that’s...

Did I hear God call me an idiot?

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

and i’m thinking, aren’t i supposed to be the one who’s freaking out here? tiny is going to be the first b-b-b- (i can’t do it) boy-f-f-f (c’mon, will) boyf-boyf (here we go) boyfriend of...

It’s like a meatloaf.

The gods too are fond of a joke.

We danced together. We didn’t look graceful, but how could we? She only had one leg and I had my eyes on her friend the whole night. Sure, her friend couldn’t dance either, and literally...

They intend to make people’s very appetites the next weapon of uncountable destruction. They intend that your people will lust themselves into oblivion in front of little boxes of changing light. Addictive light. A light...

He looked groggy, and he told me he didn’t get any sleep, so I handed him a cat, because that’s like extra sleep right there.

…you’ll see, he said, they’ll go back to dividing everything up among the priests, the gringos and the rich, and nothing for the poor, naturally, because they’ve always been so fucked up that the day...

Cam’s wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. “Holy Hell,” Callie whispered, blinking.”More or less,” Arriane said

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.

It’s sad. What do you do?

I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, ‘Why did you get so depressed, and do all those things you did?’ I said, ‘I wanted this girl and...

Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying “Blood…blood…blood…blood…

Why’s it so sunny?” she repeated.Zooey observed her rather narrowly. “I bring the sun wherever I go, buddy,” he said.

Maybe because you’re thinking right now that my tractor’s sexy.” Colby winked at her. Emma’s face turned a shade of beet red, and she threw her arms up in the air frustratedly. “Ugh! Can you...

Yes, his ear. I was attracted to his ear. While I was in church. I’m pretty sure that solidifies my position as the weirdest person on the planet.

I know how to handle a sword, a gun, and a kangaroo pouch stuffed with marshmallows. You should fear me.

My beard grows down to my toes,I never wears no clothes,I wraps my hairAround my bare,And down the road I goes.

A little part of me dies every time I try to commit suicide. If life is a buffet, I’m still in the mac and cheese phase. Maybe one day I’ll mature into more of a...

My tears are salty. I shouldn’t eat potato chips while drinking my Cry Water, because it only makes me thirstier for your love.

He leaned forward to inspect her closer. “Is that all hair?”… Sudden, overwhelming panic clawed up Cress’s throat. With a squeak, she ducked out of view of the camera and scrambled beneath the desk. Her...

I like it.

I think guns would be more effective if bullets worked like boomerangs.

If all it takes to motivate you is a quote then this quote has nothing to say – except to go soar with the freakin’ eagles.

He sniggered.He didn’t like to think of himself as the sort of person who giggled or sniggered, but he had to admit that he had been giggling and sniggering almost continuously for well over half...