I like my cakes nude, like I like wearing coats made of icing. I sweat hot coffee, so I wear cream deodorant. If you’re tired, you should lick my armpits.

My cat likes to wake me up by licking my armpit. Never before have I had such a romantic alarm clock. It’s true, man, I should have been born Harry Truman. He could have been...

I have a Secret. I keep it under my arms in the form of deodorant.

I didn’t apply for a job this morning, but I did apply deodorant. So I have that going for me.

I put my deodorant on like I’m painting my armpits with a paintbrush. Art is everywhere and in everything—especially love.

Success is a great deodorant.

When I was a little boy, I used to work in a sweatshop. We made deodorant.

I just bought some long-lasting deodorant. You know, for the afterlife. Eternity is a long time to have stinky armpits.