Oh, yeah. I definitely have attention deficient demon.

Erasing is exercise for the hands

I had a dream about you. The lettuce in my sandwich was crunchier than your conversation, and all I could hear when you spoke was myself chewing. You made such a tasty conversation that I...

The greatest form of abortion is not letting the man put it there in the first place!

I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops.

A brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if they are so stupid that they haven’t figured out how to tie their own shoes by now, torture really is...

Yep, I was so mature, I decided I would just have to reward myself by doing the naked lambada with a Federal Agent.

My friend had a few kittens she was trying to find a home for, but she was having no luck. They were super cute, so I decided to poison their water supply. A few days...

No, Miss Palmer. What is bizarre is that I currently have a vagina.

We watch television and we play music, but mostly we’ve found ways to amuse ourselves.” “Really?” Valkyrie asked. “Like what?”Plight’s smile faded. “Like human sacrifice.”He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie...

Die, die we all pass away, But don’t wear a frown coz it’s really okay,And you might try to hide, And you might try to pray,But we all end up remains of the day.

How do you feel, Georgie?” whispered Mrs. Weasley.George’s fingers groped for the side of his head.”Saintlike,” he murmured.”What’s wrong with him?” croaked Fred, looking terrified. “Is his mind affected?””Saintlike,” repeated George, opening his eyes and...

I am the alligator of love. But I’d make better boots than a lover.

Are you familiar with that play?In fact, we’re almost living it!

I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit.

You know, I’m really starting to hate the insect life around here. Next time, remind me to bring a can of Off!

Did you like question ten, Moony?” asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.”Loved it,” said Lupin briskly. “Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.””D’you think you managed to get all the...

When you’re writing what you love, it’s the most fun you can have with your clothing still on, unless of course, you write naked.

you’re not dead-you’re dormant.

İki tip çocuk vardı: Biri sonuna kadar gözyaşlarına boğulmayı tercih eder, ama tabağındaki pırasayı yemeye mahkum olur. Diğeri ise ne yapacağını biliyordur. Küçük, anlaşılmayacak bir samimiyete indirgenmiş ani bir kusma refleksi ve patates kızartması beş...

When I dance, I’m so fluid you could drink my moves. And if you sip it with your morning coffee, you’ll be light on your feet all day.

Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can on it.

We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

My stomach’s upset. I must have accidentally said something to insult it.

We all make mistakes. Some just manufacture them in a factory and sell them to the public.

utangaç bok” gibiydi güneş bu dönemde. Uzun bir bekleyişten sonra çıkacak gibi olur, başını uzatır, ama evdeki misafirlerden biri tuvaletin önünden geçtiğinde ses çıkarırım diye utanıp hemen geri kaçardı.

On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones.

Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than “Boy, I wish you hadn’t mummified me and thrown me into the lake” hate.

KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND. YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of the Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants...

What’s that?””That’s my attack poodle.

I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I’m definitely not religious, and I’m very tired of the preachiness and obsession with...

H.I.V.E. will not tolerate unauthorized violence between students, especially students that have only been here for a matter of hours.””I was just introducing myself,” Otto replied innocently. “I’m afraid I appear to have inadvertently offended...

Right now it’s 77 degrees—even if you’re a dyslexic.

Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?

How in the name of Merlin’s pants have you managed to get your hands on those Horcrux books?

Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.

I never was so immensely tickled by anything I had ever said before. I actually woke up twice during the night, and laughed till the bed shook.

That civet-jasmine blend you’re wearing tonight absolutely clashes with the third-level formal style of your dress, you know.

I got a zero. That’s like a perfect ten—it’s only one away from being flawless. Remember this next time you think you have nothing.

Don’t you know that it is only the very foolish folk who talk sense all the time? (Anne)

I row…a-uh-boat…with-uh-my teammates.” Superb! Just-uh-superb.

Hey, would you look at that shit?”I turned on my heel. The patrons who’d fled at the first hint of trouble had come back and were enjoying the spectacle.”Clear out!” I barked.They paid me no...

If a woman named Ms. Silver won a gold medal, she’d probably be a little disappointed she didn’t place second. My love always finishes first, while my love always comes second.

I don’t want to be your snack, your chew-toy, your fuck-buddy. Find a vampire to sink your fang into.

Life is a huge farce, and the advantage of possessing a sense of humour is that it enables one to defy fate with mocking laughter.

A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.

She would’ve been a good woman,” said The Misfit, “if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.

It is possible to be in two dreams at once. If I dream about you, and you are asleep at the time, you are in both your dreams, and mine. Still, you’re not really in...

U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation’s continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York Daily News reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor knives,...

He turned his gaze upon her, and their eyes not only met, the pupils shook hands, exchanged business cards, and sat down for tea together.