My cat is a meow factory. Why can’t he manufacture something more profitable, like love?

Meow, Meow, Meeeeooooow?

I bought you a box of karate chops, but it could be dangerous to open it with a knife. And cats are masters at getting into boxes, so here, try opening it with my portable...

Lecture’s over.

Meow.

I have an abnormally shaped brain. According to neuroimaging, my brain looks like a curled up sleeping kitten. That’s how I make love like meow.

Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.

Feed me, you moron.

Be honest because you stole it, not because blue/green/yell a little yellow. Dandelions just don’t meow like regular lions.

The birds bark my name, and I meow theirs in return. I may be a bit mixed up about life, but not about love. Or maybe I mixed that up.

I want to start a business making mint-flavored sunshine that comes in a can half full of meow-free rainbows. (Leprechauns sold separately.)

I have a bedroom rug that I feed. It’s not very flat, and it meows when I step on it.

I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?

I fight with the strength of many lion meows. I love even more ferociously.

My name is Meow. At least that’s what my cat calls me. But you can call me after nine.

I yell at yellow like I purr at pink. If they were more fluid, I’d pour meows in my morning coffee.

Cats will be cats.

A meow’s a sound I want to look at. And after I see it, I want to pet it.

I collect hair. I keep most of it on my floor, but my most valuable patches I display on the bodies of a few cats I have roaming my house like walking art displays that...

Some dogs look like giant mustaches. I shaved mine off because it was barking too much. My love life has improved by leaps and meows.

Amy, she’s got a memory like an elephant, and a body like a meow.

Love is meant to be felt, like a cat. I’m meowing for your affection.

My bark has meow, and in bed I’m in the moment like instant coffee. Do you prefer cream or sugar in your orgasms?

It’s raining cats and dogs. Good thing meows and barks bounce off my umbrella, and I just poured a large cup of love in the left cup of your bra when you weren’t looking.

I have a rating system I apply to all people. Mao Zedong might have a Meow Factor of four, but I like to keep my Meow Factor as close to zero as I can. This...

Tonight I’m on Meow Patrol. Do you have a fur coat I can borrow?

My attic is the size of a can of cat food, only filled with more meows and not as tasty. So you see, I have nowhere to store all my love but in your heart.