My philosophy on life: On a burrito, the cheese goes underneath the sour cream. Otherwise, how will it melt?

Coffee is made from beans. Burritos also have beans in them, although I’ll admit a burrito isn’t as drinkable as a cup of coffee.

I sing into burritos like they’re microphones. If you want my autograph, you’re going to have to wait until the end of the concert.

What’s the halfway point on a burrito called? Sadness.

I thought I was eating a candy bar, but it turned out to be a yummy burrito. I was both disappointed and appointed at the same time.

I’ll use your chicken burrito as a crayon. I’ll draw what love looks like, if you promise not to eat it.

Wrapped inside one is love. Wrapped inside another is hate. What do you think is wrapped inside the third? If you answered meat, beans, and cheese, you’d be correct.

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment.