Have nuts and be nuts.

Do not put statements in the negative form.And don’t start sentences with a conjunction.If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that agreat deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.Never...

A brick could be used for pressing grapes into wine, and a magician could then cover up that wine with a blanket and turn wine into water.

No,” I agreed. “The zombie apocalypse is still a few years off, right?” “That’s up to you to decide. Tell you what, we’ll do it for fun someday when you’re really bored.

For such small heads, little kids seem to have the biggest brains. No disrespect to midgets.

LIPID (Last Idiot Person I Dated) syndrome: a largely undiagnosed but pervasive disease that afflicts single women.

Dear God, that man has a magnificent body.’ …………. ‘It’s like having a cupcake thrust in front of your face and not being allowed to have a lick of the icing.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I should have picked her up.

He said that we had just had an argument, what more did I want?It was too polite, I said.

In the first place, Cranford is in possession of the Amazons; all the holders of houses above a certain rent are women. If a married couple come to settle in the town, somehow the gentleman...

If I ever do hook up with anybody again – and I sincerely doubt that I will, so wipe that hopeful look off your face – it will be with someone who thinks that being...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

If I were handicapped, I’d travel by horse. Well, that’s assuming my wheelchair would be stable on the horse’s back. I’d be a coffee addict and porn historian.

V.L.A.D.: Vampire League Against Discrimination.

I’ve created a monster, haven’t I?” said Merlin, staring at the animated figure incredulously.”I think that, technically, I was already a monster,” the dragon replied. “Now I am a monster with social networking skills. Or...

Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day....

A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck, just slam it down on your skull to jar everything loose.

Alanna: All I know is that I’m to jump when I’m told and I have no free time.

Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casiusoh i do,I’m just so pissed i had extra left over – Jace

I know LSD; I don’t need to take it anymore. Maybe when I die, like Aldous Huxley.

I would rather save a few seconds than a few cents. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m saving them in your sofa cushions.

Bob poured and brought two cups over, hardly rattling them on the saucers. “Drink up. This should restore your inner bitch.” Bailey scowled at him. “See?” he said. “It’s working already, and all you’ve had...

Electricity is really just organized lightning

‘Why are you yelling at the television when you know they cannot hear you?’ ‘You wouldn’t understand,’ said Asher, his gaze locked on the screen. ‘It’s a human thing.’

I caught a fish with a deep voice. It was a bass.

Honey, that man would do anything to keep you. Lie, steal, cheat, kill, clean up after himself, and do laundry.

There’s money to be made with a name like Cash. I should print myself into popularity.

As a boy, I used to marvel that the letters in a closed book did not get scrambled and lost overnight.

A brick could be used like a used car salesman uses people. I know, because I used to sell cars. Well, technically I got fired precisely because I didn’t sell any cars.

I now warn the reader not to mock me and my mental daze. It is easy for him and me to decipher now a past destiny; but a destiny in the making is, believe me,...

Who was where when has no impact on where you are now.

Now, Sabin. He didn’t mean any harm. He’s borderline stupid. You know that.

The nails from a suicide’s coffin, and the skull of the parricide, were of course no trouble; for Vesquit never traveled without these household requisites.

I like giving gifts, but I like not spending money more.

A brick could be used for note delivery, from the KKK.

Shit a brick.”

It is a strange thing that the human species can only go three days without water and three weeks without food, before the body dies. Yet, so many people can go years hanging onto pain...

A brick, in the hands of a Mason, could be used to cover up and hide a secret handshake.

It was one of those decisions that shouldn’t have been so easy to get so wrong. Go on your own or take the half wasted waif. She was wearing denim hotpants with a pink vest...

Tanto la marginalidad como la exclusividad pierden su sentido cuando se popularizan.

Courage is a commodity I sell in times of peace. But then my father was a chicken farmer.

No sabía qué pensar de aquel hombre caballo con quien debía permanecer casada durante un año. Era obvio que me interesaba. Después de todo, no había conocido nunca a nadie como él. Admitamos que no...

I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I need is fascism to complete the set. I’m looking to trade my dusty democracy, but Uncle Sam isn’t interested in a deal at...

Where have all the Fembots gone?

I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold?

It’s interesting to watch someone think. Glass skulls would be cool.

Is that so? I would say I was averagely arrogant

I knew we were destined to be lovers from the moment she tied me up and stuffed me in the trunk of her car.