You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want.

Mr. Crossley suddenly wondered why he was why he was worrying about the note. It was only a joke, after all. He cleared his throat. Everyone looked up hopefully. ‘Somebody,’ said Mr. Crossley, ‘seems to...

This book will prove the following ten facts:1. A Goon is a being who melts into the foreground and sticks there.2. Pigs have wings, making them hard to catch.3. All power corrupts, but we need...

Polaris often remarks to Sol that Sirius loses his temper much less often these days. But the one sure way to send him into a flaming rage is to suggest that he finds a new...

I’d rather die!

Go to bed, you fool,” Calcifer said sleepily. “You’re drunk.””Who, me?” said Howl. “I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober.” He got up and stalked upstairs, feeling for the wall as if...

Really, these wizards! You’d think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?” she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet.”I’m dying of boredom,” Howl said pathetically. “Or...

A book for children, like the myths and folktales that tend to slide into it, is really a blueprint for dealing with life. For that reason, it might have a happy ending, because nobody ever...

Learn to drive?””Never,” said Quentin. “My mission in life is to be a passenger.

I am a total zombie just after I wake up. It takes me half an hour even to get my eyes open. Ask anyone who knows me. I can’t see; I can’t talk properly; I...

Slender Youth. A tour companion who may be either a lost prince or a girl/princess in disguise. In the latter case it is tactful to pretend you think she is a boy. She/he will be...

What makes you a real girl or boy is that no one laughs at you. If you are imitation or unreal, the rules give you a right to exist provided you do what the real...

I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.

Tantrums are seldom about the thing they appear to be about.

Nobody gets praised for the right reasons.

As she turned left to the gateway, it occurred to her that swimming was only one of a very large number of things she had no idea what to do. Peter had been right to...

Naturally I don’t,” Sophie answered.

I’m going to bed, where I may die.

I feel ill,” [Howl] announced. “I’m going to bed, where I may die.

I’ll show you how,” Peter said. “Stop hiding behind your ignorance.

The truth between two people always cuts two ways.

When you grow up to be an author and write books, you’ll think you’re making the books up, but they’ll all really be true, somewhere.

Small Man can be a very funny or a very tiresome Tour Companion, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you. He gambles, he drinks too much and he always runs away. Since the...

After that, he tried to go upstairs through the broom cupboard, and then the yard. This seemed to puzzle him a little. But finally he discovered the stairs, all except the bottom on, and fell...

I can’t abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!

And, suddenly, as if her head cleared, she was quite sure that wonderful things did indeed exist. Even if they’re only in my own mind, she thought, they’re there and worth fighting for.

After this, Boy became very curious about the mansion where the clothes and the food came from. He made me describe everything. Then he asked Good Thing ‘Are there books in this mansion, too?”And pictures...

Oh! Polly thought. Why aren’t all girls locked up by law the year they turn fifteen? They do such stupid things!

Female Mercenary. This will be a companion on your Tour. She is usually tall, thin and wiry, silent, and neurotic. Sex scares her. This is because she either came from a nunnery or was raped...

If you like, you can all think of it as my gift to you. I never had much else to give. You can get on and play your own lives as you like, while I...

So you were going to rescue the Prince! Why did you pretend to run away? To deceive the Witch?””Not likely! I’m a coward. Only way I can do something this frightening is to tell myself...

But I brought it on myself by making a bargain some years ago, and I know I shall never be able to love anyone properly now.”The water running out of Howl’s eyes was definitely tears...

This is the mythosphere. It’s made up of all the stories, theories and beliefs, legends, myths and hopes, that are generated here on Earth. As you can see, it’s constantly growing and moving as people...

And suddenly, as if her head had cleared, she was quite sure that wonderful things did indeed exist. Even if they’re only in my own mind, she thought, they’re there and worth fighting for. I...

…and said grace in Welsh. It was all rolling, thundering language.

There is very seldom any true secret.

Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!

In a way it was worth it, she thought, except that it was such a total waste.

Beauty isn’t made of sugar.

But most dragons seem to have interesting personalities–besides probably having quite good reasons for what they do, if only one could understand them

Jamal stared at the dog in his arms. “Why I am I holding a dog full of angels?

If you must know, I-I had never in my life kissed a young lady, and you are far too beautiful to me to want to get it wrong!

My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.

And indeed if you think you’re a genius at something what you achieve is very much according to your expectations; if you think you’re no good, you’re not going to get anywhere.

Why should I be annoyed? Someone only filled the castle with rotten aspic, and deafened everyone in Porthaven, and scared Calcifer to a cinder, and broke a few hundred hearts. Why should that annoy me?

Controller Borasus sighed with relief. Libraries were not places of danger. It had to be a hoax.

He held out his hand to Sophie, just like Mrs. Pentstemmon, but a little less royally. Sophie levered herself up, wondering if she was meant to kiss this hand or not. But since she felt...

The demon at legth fell to singing a gentle, flickering little song. It was not in any language Sophie knew – or she thought not, until she distinctly heard the word “saucepan” in it several...

What a strange family you are! Is your name Lettie too?

City of Wizards is normally quite a GOOD thing, since only Good WIZARDS seem able to live together. . . .There have been cities of EVIL Wizards in the past. You will occasionally come across...