Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I’d rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.

There isn’t a thing I can’t do now that I didn’t do when I was twenty-one…which gives you an idea of how pathetic I was when I was twenty-one. (That’s a lie, but I might...

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Money is the root of all evil.’ Then we hear, ‘A fool and his money are soon parted.’ What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn’t it be, ‘A wise man and...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.