I tagged your ass the other night,” I said, “while you were sleeping- and you liked it.””Really? I thought it was a dream.” “It was. A WET one.

Sadness is like growing of hairs around our ass; we may not like it or want it, but it is surprisingly always there.

She had no mind, but I didn’t mind, because she had a body like an upside down question mark.

The reason why a man cannot stop staring at a woman ass is only because God has spent 80 percent of his time and efforts on woman ass and 20 percent on her entire body.

There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.

The bottom of a cup of coffee is not as good as the bottom of her body—which is actually in the middle of her body.

Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?

You can’t say asses in church unless you are speaking of donkeys.

I got a boob job on my butt, and be honest here, does this bra make my ass look fat?

Sitting to think of what to write will only set your ass on fire, give you headache, twist your face to look stupid, instead, walk around with a blank mind and something from somewhere will...

Are you going to spank me, daddy? I’m a very bad girl! (bending over naked)”Oh yeah daddy – spank my ass harder!!!

Question for your life: If your face looked like your ass, and I’m not implying it doesn’t, would you consider invading Russia in the middle of winter wearing only shorts?

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

From: Christian GreySubject: &*%$&*&*Date: August 23 2011 11:23To: Anastasia GreyBelieve me when I say there are a great many things he’d like to do to your ass right now. Firing you is not one of...

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

Employment is an employee’s kissing of an employer’s ass. A salary is the employer’s pretense to be cleaning his ass.

Women should have nipples on their butts. From a design perspective, I think it would revolutionize the fashion industry.

If I were a box of cereal, I wouldn’t want to talk about myself any more than I do now. Just flip me over and read all about me if you’re curious. Everything you need...

No, you wouldn’t. You love my arse, darling!”, he walked backwards few feet in front of me.His big smile was enough to make me grin and roll my eyes again at him.

I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I’m still going on about her.

I’m feeling morass, when I should be feeling more ass. I can put my sadness behind me with what’s behind you.

I’m not a religious man, but I do worship your ass.

My love sits on the stove like a cat with an oven mitt for an ass.

How do two retards eat a turd sandwich? Well, not by first wiping their ass with wheat bread like I showed them.

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.

A half a hole is the same as a whole hole, no matter how much love you intend to bury. Love is a treasure, and to keep it safe you need to do as the...

I say yes, turn the other cheek, and let me slap your butt again. Forgiveness can be oh so naughty.

If a building were shaped like a body, I’d imagine you’d exit out the rear.

Don’t be disappointed if the whole world is against you, maybe it is because you are a tough ass.