I’m the kind of person who does not remember bad things.

Hayır ya, hayır! Seks olmadan yaşamak. Bak düşün! Diyorum ki kötü bir şey olmasa. Misal, belki de çayı şekersiz içmek gibi. Başlarda acıdır, ama şekerli içtiğin yıllarda çayın tadını aslında hiç almadığını fark edersin ve...

I thanked the lucky stars for my great metabolism, because Karsen had showed me pictures of her mom once and it was scary the transformation she underwent after popping three kids out. She went from...

I’ve long ago compromised my eight hours a night.

It’s between one and a lot,” he added, helpfully.

He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.

Mr. Taylor has this habit of emphasizing his point by using three adjectives or verbs in a row. ‘Class, you must know,’ Simon begins [imitating] in a droning voice, flinging her arms around at every...

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me.

Someday I’m going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.

Daemon pressed his forehead against mine. “Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I’m insane. You’re crazy. Maybe that’s why. We just make crazy together.

I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half...

Congress: Bingo with billions.

Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.

The Church being what she is cannot have the instincts of a gentleman.

I’m trying. My mouth keeps moving of its own accord.

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Eddie Money and Johnny Cash should have collaborated. I’d have paid good last name to see them in concert.

Si, the speed limit sign said 35. Your Goin’ 55.” -Sadie Robertson”Oh, that’s just a suggestion.

As we drove uptown, I spotted a Kmart on a corner,with its familiar red sign.I cleared my throat.”Wait. Can we stop for a minute?””What for?””Just – I need a few things.”He looked irritated, but pulled...

I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece.

The great thing about writing fiction is that you can do whatever the fuck you want, go as far as you are willing to go, and laugh at the people who take it seriously.

I gotta go. The gingerbread men are on

It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a suit, you should still invite me swimming. That’s the naked truth.

I’m going to wake Peeta,” I say.”No, wait,” says Finnick. “Let’s do it together. Put our faces right in front of his.”Well, there’s so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We...

Jackass, jackass on the wall, where’s the info on Hex Hall?

Yesterday I saved a baby, a boy, a man, and an old man from death, and all by simply not impregnating anybody. But I don’t consider myself a hero. Merely heroic, and also unable to...

Adventure! People talked about the idea as if it were something worthwhile, rather than a mess of bad food, no sleep and strange people inexplicably trying to stick pointed objects in bits of you.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

I think the special thing about Python is that it’s a writers’ commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is.

I like infomercials.

I just wrote a book. But don’t go and buy it yet, because I don’t think it’s finished.

I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.

Save your explanations, I got some questions for you first and you’d better answer them!’ [slurred Hellian.] ‘With what?’ [Banaschar] sneered. ‘Explanations?’ ‘No. Answers. There’s a difference-‘ ‘Really? How? What difference?’ ‘Explanations are what people...

Oh, I am. You haven’t experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic.

They say you fear what you don’t understand. Maybe that’s why every time I’m in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants.

That boy may have been born on third base but he sure as shit ain’t scored a triple.

I want to be a creature that’s half bee, half the letter B. That way I can pollinate the world with my literacy.

Stop begging the question – get a job and earn the question like everyone else.

What did I know of love then? What do I know of love now? I went from mustard to ketchup, but I’m still leading with my hotdog.

I’m willing to forgive and forget, but damned if I’ll be forgiven and forgotten.

You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours.

Not knowing is more than half the battle. – National Clandestine Service motto

There’s urine on the couch, and the remote control is in the shower.” I would write it myself, but I’ve never been very good at writing love ballads.

Either every robot can dance the robot, or no robot can.

I am my own love story. And I want to tell my love story, from the inside. Just add water and stir.

Anybody I can hold a candle to, I drip hot wax on.

I told her I’d rather talk about her, instead of listening to her drone on about the weather. Little did I know she was an aspiring meteorologist.

Live fast, die young – which is it going to be???

Love is two souls occupying one bed. Though not a bunk bed.