It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen.

Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind a sycamore tree and using his nose as an Allen Key to release a starving...

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. and yet… and yet you...

It’s a very funny play. The music is just tremendous; it’s a comedy with opera mixed in.

With stand-up, I can have an idea, go down the street to a comedy club and work on it, flesh it out, book a venue, people will come, then film it. I do all that...

You look up at drama, down at comedy. A singer, looking up is okay. A comic, it’s death.

Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people

If there’s grass on the pitch,” and gives his small cock a quick squeeze under the desk.

Opposite Pissec sits ghoulish Gottfried Baumauer, a tall, skinny workaholic with dark-ringed eye sockets and long, yellowing smoker’s fingers. He’s thirty-eight. He doesn’t say much. He drinks a lot of tea – likes it strong...

Is that how you get dates?” Seth asked.

Be careful not to appear obsessively intellectual. When intelligence fills up, it overflows a parody.

I watched 60 Minutes…and they showed this woman, she’s in every kind of..thing like that. ‘This woman’, they say, ‘she lost her first four children–died from malnutrition–and, now, she’s afraid that her new six-month-old newborn...

I’m a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it’s what I’ve been doing and it’s what I’m going to keep doing.

Shall I compare thee to a Shoggoth?

I try to never miss the Zumba class since I believe comedy is a great way to start your week….It was great fun, although I had to hold myself back from turning it into a...

The human comedy is always tragic, but since its ingredients are always the same—dupe, fox, straight, like burlesque skits—the repetition through the ages is comedy.

When extremists come together extreme things happen.

Laughter is a whip that keeps us in line. It’s horrible to be laughed at against your will. Either you suppress unwelcome laughter or you start controlling it.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

What is she doing here? I wondered. Hasn’t she had enough green-upping?

I’ve … always thought he could be a big comedy star. The nice thing about ‘Virgin’ is that it shows the studios that if the premise is a strong one, you can take a chance...

Nobody really knows, but I got a little comedy in me.

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone’s dining room window.

You don’t have to want to be in arelationship for a little bow-chicka-bow-wow.

I am writing your obituary. Well, not so much writing it as updating it,” HARV told me.If I lived, I was going to kill HARV.

Stop begging the question – get a job and earn the question like everyone else.

OK, maybe one iota, or two iotas at most, but definitely not three.

Wanna analyze my pocket litter?

If by ‘about’ you mean ‘in a circle around,’ then yes, we’re doing something about the problem.

Just because your opinion counts doesn’t mean it should multiply.

On the directory map in CIA Headquarters lobby, it says ‘You Aren’t Here.

If you feel badly enough about dialing a suicide prevention hotline by mistake, it wasn’t a mistake.

Guns don’t kill people. An AR-15 from the National Rifle Association told me so.

I also want to return to doing stand-up. I’ve become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.

Ultimately, that question can only be answered by you.

Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was...

Every nook and cranny,” Marietta interrupted dryly and Gabrielle tipped her head back with a throaty laugh.

I should think a dead language would be rather boring, sociallyspeaking.

BARBARIC!

Comedy comes from confusion.

She threw up her hands. “All right. Why not?” Why not?” Sure.” His arms fell to his sides. “That’s it? I pour my heart out. I love you so much I’ve got freakin’ tears in...

Either to die the death or to abjureFor ever the society of men.Therefore, fair Hermia, question your desires;Know of your youth, examine well your blood,Whether, if you yield not to your father’s choice,You can endure...

There’s no savior here. Especially not at 1:15 a.m.

Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don’t believe me when I tell them. That’s how I saw myself, in comedy.

Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I...

I’m always doing comedy and will never hit up a 9-to-5 desk job.

Human life is a combination of tragedy and comedy. The shapes and designs that surround us are the music accompanying this tragedy and this comedy.

I hate working with sexy women.” Dimitri Pissec.

Tatiana is a ridiculously curvy thing of dreams, with smooth succulent thighs, long strawberry blond cascading beneath a teal bandana, and a nympho sparkle in her eyes that says pick me, lick me, spank me,...