“He loved her…It was noble of him. It was beautiful.”-“It was stupid.

Master Griffin, I would marry my own mother for the excuse to stab my eyes out with her brooches than to see anything under your kilt,” the man’s voice said with an elegant aplomb. “Where...

Try – Takes the infinitive: “try to mend it,” not “try and mend it.” Students of the language will argue that ‘try and’ has won through and become idiom. Indeed it has, and it is...

Usually when people see me, they see me as more of the soft-spoken one rather than being the witty, smart-tongued character.

Brody’s not gay. But then he kisses a boy. So he might be gay? No, Brody’s not gay. But he loves this boy. So after much delaying, debating, and waiting, the answer comes clear…nothing is...

They’re not going to arrest you,’ Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. ‘They might glare at you and say angry words, but they won’t arrest you. Well, they might arrest you. There’s a...

He forced himself forward trying to seem innocent without acting like someone who was guilty who was trying to act innocent.

Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought about it.

I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour.

But you have to understand, mental illness is like cholesterol. There is is good kind and the bad. Without the good kind- less flavor to life. Van Gogh, Beethoven, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Pink...

This sentence consists of eleven words, twenty-three syllables and seventy-four letters.

Pride only helps us to be generous; it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty.

I can’t tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can’t tell you because it never happened. They all adored me.” “It was your humility, wasn’t it?

It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.

State your point. If the opposite party doesn’t agree, state it harder- with a punch.

I’ve often been criticised, but never critically wounded

I’m so honest, that in order to compliment you, I’d improve you first.

You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain.That’s my sister, he said, pointing at the closed curtain.I shrugged. “I’m glad you guys are so close.

The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles.

You write poetry?” Klaus asked.He had read a lot about poets but had never met one.”Just a little bit,” Isadora said modestly. “I write poems down in this notebook. It’s an interest of mine.””Sappho!” Sunny...

Once you’ve read too many trashy best-sellers, you begin to look for something with substance, something that attempts to define the universe.

There was a few seconds’ pause. Then Amit said: I meant, what were you thinking just now.When? said Lata.When you were looking at Pran and Savita. Over the pudding.Oh.Well, what?I can’t remember, said Lata with...

Un bon mot ne prouve rien.

Writers don’t get mad they get even in their novels.

As it ‘appens, I am Arthur’s right-hand man,” said Suzy. “Or left-hand girl, I can’t remember where I stood last time. Anyhow, me and Arthur is like two fingers of a gauntlet. Or at least...

We’re authors, too,” Donegan said, “and we’ve been trying to get into the picture-book market. We have this idea for a Where’s Wally type thing, except in ours, you’d have to find the one living...

Talking to them was like being placed into conversational purgatory, with no hope of being released without significant damage to one’s self-esteem.

All the same, we should excuse ourselves,” Vergil said. “Although I am wondering if the meeting was already well concluded when we intruded.” He gave Nathaniel a deep look on the last sentence that made...

You get a promotion?””I got a polite, but firm suggestion to be a team player. […]””You got off easy. One of my commanding officers once threw a paperweight at me.””We’re a bit more subtle.

I was at a dinner party many years ago,sitting along from Tom Stoppard, who in those days smoked not just between courses,but between mouthfuls. An American woman watched in disbelief.”And you so intelligent!””Excuse me?” said...

Think of something clever, witty or profound, keep it short and people may quote you.

Love is meant to be taken seriously, like a joke.

What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our own?””No, we’re going to find a way to let our...

(…) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a...

I’m going to have to kiss you, McIntire.

Actors,” he says, “should only be superficial on the surface.

I’ll be sure not to let anyone but you carry me in her arms.” He turns and leaves the kitchen before I can figure out what to make of his comment. A sense of humor...

Money, Gun and Lie can solve almost all the problems.

There was a time when skepticism was an act of rebellion. Since to a degree I both believe in evolution and have faith, I can only conclude that, as prophesied, to have faith will someday...

I wasn’t used to guys making me blush, and I wasn’t sure why he even was making me blush.

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk...

Carla was wearing a No Fear sweatshirt. You are too old, Amy wanted to tell her, for legible clothing.

I guess, but I also worked as a baker, construction worker, and a bunch of other things. Either way I just prefer being known as Jack. I mean Dr. Baker Jack Hammer Jack, would be...

Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.

Make sure it is God’s trumpet you are blowing- if it is only yours it won’t wake the dead, it will simply disturb the neighbours.

THOUGHTS are the WORDS supported with the ACTION and both are not independent of each other to produce results.

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account…

He things we think he’s a double agent, working for them but secretly working for us. He doesn’t know we know he’s a triple agent, working for them but secretly working for us but really...