Doakes had a first name! It was Albert – had anyone ever really called him that? Unthinkable. I had assumed his name was Sergeant.

Choosing friends based on how much money they have is like betting on a horse because you like its saddle.

There are more quarrels smothered by just shutting your mouth, and holding it shut, than by all the wisdom in the world.

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

A person crying is like a sponge wringing itself out. Love is better than a sink that turns itself off without you having to touch the handle.

Lamlah tidak mau jadi anak laja, Lamlah anak bapak dan anak mak,”jawab budak yang belum mengenal kemuliaan dunia itu.Ala, bodoh si Malah ini, tidak mau jadi anak raja?” kata si Saminmencampuri percakapan itu. “Anak raja...

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”....

I can’t even make up a rhyme about an umbrella, let alone death and life and eternal peace.

America: It’s like Britain, only with buttons.

Her family had of late been exceedingly fluctuating. For many years of her life she had had two sons; but the crime and annihilation of Edward a few weeks ago, had robbed her of one;...

Said by Colin the dragon:”It’s somewhat bizarre to learn that many of you (humans)think that other humans are somehow different enough to be hated and killed, when in reality you’re all all tiresomely similiar in...

A nation’s not a child, for God’s sake. … It’s like a wild horse you tame by breaking it. Or a fiery woman you slap till she sees sense and warms your bed.

The last time I checked,I didn’t have any special talent,thought Kara.Can I paint a demon to death?Drown it in some gouache?

What’s this?” he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there.”It’s a girl,” Jace said,recovering his composure. “Surely you’ve seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle...

Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Why did he have to stand so close, and why did I still love him so much?

I’m Razo, a member of Bayern’s Own,” he said, stopping himself from adding “Loafing is just a hobby of mine.””Bayern’s Own? But you’re a child.” Razo looked up to the sky. “I’m not a child,...

You’ve got no sense of humor.””I’m going to laugh really hard after I kick your ass.

Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index.

Mummy can we keep him?” Madeleine asked with the wide eyes of a burgeoning crush.”Darling, little boys make terrible pets,” Mrs. Masterson offered with a wink.”That’s not true at all, Mummy. They’re hypoallergenic, much easier...

Humor relieves the tension between what we see or desire but repress in order to sustain a survivable illusion about the world we live in. As such it’s always potent stuff, and dangerous.

The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.

She seemed to be a nice person, too, instead of a homicidal bitch like his former wife. Otherwise, the world should fear. When Mencheres fell for a woman, he fell hard. If Kira asked for...

. ‘Because off-duty cops walk around the city wearing sweatshirts advertising they’re cops all the time, never mind it’s a hundred degrees outside. And never mind you look like the youngest cop ever recruited in...

Well, I always did want to go out in a Braveheart kind of way. I’ll just have to think of something cool to yell before they cut my head off.

Amazing how a confluence of praise and lust can just make your defensive barriers collapse like Jell-O on a hot stove

I love the newspaper. I love reading fiction.

But money spent while manic doesn’t fit into the Internal Revenue Service concept of medical expense or business loss. So after mania, when most depressed, you’re given excellent reason to be even more so.

The more fucked up you are, the more I like you. As long as you’ve managed to hold onto your identity through all the shit, then it won’t matter how twisted you are. I will...

So. You get handed a holy sword by an archangel, told to go fight the forces of evil, and you somehow remain an atheist. Is that what you’re saying?

If I say you’re a goatherd’s son, you say, ‘Yes, Lord Ralon.'”Alanna gasped with fury. “I’d as soon kiss a pig! Is that what you’ve been doing-kissing pigs? Or being kissed?

Don’t alter my altar. I don’t believe you don’t believe.

Love is a trumpet, Donald Trump’s hair, and a turnip all turned up and facing west. Sorry, east. I am looking in a mirror, so it’s all reversed.

I loved her like the sun might say to the moon, “Stop stealing my light!”

All you have to do, I tell myself, is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn’t be that hard.

How you felt?” he asks, still looking like he’s trying to hide a smirk.”Oh, shut up. I’m going now. I’m sorry I bothered you, your Highness of Reindeerness,” I say, with more than a little...

I wouldn’t waste time worrying about a little mud on the boots.

Ish #21 “Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It’s still meat!

We fell in love like nobody’s business. I wish it was everyone’s business, so that I could have made money off it.

I’m rich, popular. I have a sense of humor. I’m good looking, and not to mention I have a really big—

A knight can fight. As you well know, I fight about as well as a pillow.””That’s an insult to pillows. At least they can take a beating.

its better to get hurt now than to get hurt later.

Every time I annoy him he retreats into his No Mundanes Allowed tree house.” Simon pointed at Jace.

Sucks to be left out of adolescence, sort of like getting locked in the closet on Venus when the sun appears for the first time in a hundred years.

Nobody comes here anymore, its too crowded

I do a lot of business with businesses. And I do a lot of business with individuals. And guess what? It turns out the two are the same, as both are made up of only...

I won’t say that all senior citizens who can’t master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder.

How far would I go to be friends with someone? Halfway.

I don’t see why you two can’t get along.””It is a personality issue,” Rathenridge muttered.Dentin looked at him. No emotion, no reaction, simply bland observation. “Yours?

Keep up,” said an irritable voice in her ear. It was Jace, who had dropped back to walk beside her. “I don’t want to have to keep looking behind me to make sure nothing’s happened...

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered...