I love trash. I have never believed that kitsch kills. I tell you this, so you will understand that my antipathy toward ‘Love Story’ is not because I am immune to either sentimentality or garbage,...

The distance had been evaporated by humor

The gym cat appears to those who will die. He is our totem.” This thought came to me a few weeks ago. I shared it with no one of course.

A brick could be used as a sex toy. Well, I say sex toy, but the politician strapped to the bed would probably say torture device.

We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars).

I met a woman who told me she wasn’t attracted to Asians. No worries, I said. I’m not attracted to racists.

Do you mean ter tell me,” he growled at the Dursleys, “that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin’ abou’—about ANYTHING?”Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks...

Today I had to cut my Silent and Still Statue Demonstration Ceremony short due to wind conditions. Tonight I’ll make love like a tornado.

Only hurts when I breathe or blink or exist, if I’m being honest.

I got hit on at the bar last night, and this morning I have a black eye. Sometimes you can be so sexy that you offend, I guess.

I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece.

Love and magic have a great deal in common. they enrich the soul, delight the heart. And they both take practice.

Which way did they go, Peeves?” Filch was saying. “Quick, tell me.” “Say ‘please.'” “Don’t mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?” “Shan’t say nothing if you don’t say please,” said Peeves in...

Oftentimes, people meet our writing before they meet us; our writing is our first impression.People read our résumés, cover letters, proposals, and emails, and that’s the basis on which we are judged first. If our...

But these dresses? I don’t know what to do. They’re the wrong color, and they’re hideous!” She went into a hysterical fit of tears.

Simple,’ Tummeler replied.’ Blueberries is one of the great forces o’good in the world.’ How do you figure that?’ said Charles. Well,’ said Tummeler, ‘have you ever seen a troll, or a Wendigo, or,’ he...

I called his broken promise heartbreaking, and he called it growing up. Oh, that’s mature—blame it on maturity.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

That’s my nickname,” he said.

Sorry to hear about your Dad.”He shrugged. “He was seventy, and we always told him fast food would kill him.””Heart attack?””He was hit by a Pizza Express truck.

The face of a truly happy man seldom lacks smiles.

I like farm salmon. I like the idea of fish growing on trees.

You can never be too early to stand around and wait. You can have a seat in this chair, after I cinch the noose around my neck and you kick it out from under my...

Is your dog in a coma?” Quinn asked when the dog didn’t move a muscle.”No. Lump leads an active and demanding internal life that requires long periods of rest.

but you, unlike me, are a git.

To their eyes, I was love. To their ears, I was truth. To their noses, I was anus.

You’re the queen, and it’s the queen’s house, and whatever Brigan may accomplish, he’s highly unlikely ever to be queen.

We rode on the horse like we were in love and drunk on coffee. But that’s silly, because we weren’t drunk and in love. We were just drunk, and not from the coffee either.

I had a dream about you. I watched you grow up, and though I enjoyed the whole process, it did get pretty uncomfortable sitting in the tree holding those binoculars all those years.

So. You’re a fallen angel.” She folded her arms.”I’m not fallen,” he said roughly.”Then what are you?”He shrugged. “Busted.

Confidence is ignorance. If you’re feeling cocky, it’s because there’s something you don’t know.

The only thing better than word of mouth is words of mouth. Give me at least two words.

[novan]: bassists are very good with their fingers[novan]: and some of us sing backup vocals, so that means we’re good with our mouths too…(~ IM chat with Novan Chang, 18, bassist)

Our relationship is getting serious. I now know she likes Karaoke. Next she’ll tell me she loves coffee. And then she’ll say she loves me—but not as much as she loves coffee.

My humble spirit takes shape as mashed potatoes on the side. I already ate the instructions.

Do you realize how hard it is to keep your mind clear when somebody’s telling you to keep your mind clear?

It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.Opal...

I’m so hungry I could eat a mop. I mean map. I’m so lost when it comes to words.

Il ne me reste plus qu’un jour à vivre après en avoir volé quinze milliards à la mort. Plus qu’un. Deux au grand maximum.

I invented scissors with wheels, so I could cut to the chase. Next time we make love it will be the first time, and I’ll bring a sock soaked in coffee.

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance – a sharp, vindictive glance.

Veimke” (jeune fille au pair),is subject to natural law,and can be made fat,by such things as poor diet,and alcohol.

Inside the mirrored elevator, Mulch used a telescopic pointer to push P for the penthouse. For the first few months he had jumped to reach the button, but that was undignified behavior for a millionaire....

My future, it almost looks like Christmas—red and green—stop and go.

He was thirty-six years old, and six foot three. He spoke English to people and French to cats, and Latin to the birds. He had once nearly killed himself trying to read and ride a...

I could write from anywhere, including the moon, provided I had a pencil and not a pen.

I try to smile at her, but I can’t extend my flexibility training to my mouth, it just won’t move.

You can’t even begin to fathom the amount of fucks I do not give about what you want.

Have you any other objection than your belief of my indifference?”- Elizabeth Bennet

A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.