Mummy can we keep him?” Madeleine asked with the wide eyes of a burgeoning crush.”Darling, little boys make terrible pets,” Mrs. Masterson offered with a wink.”That’s not true at all, Mummy. They’re hypoallergenic, much easier...

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed,...

You know what show I thought was a riot? Live coverage of Egyptians overthrowing their government.

Well, I always did want to go out in a Braveheart kind of way. I’ll just have to think of something cool to yell before they cut my head off.

assed” in places where it doesn’t even make sense. Regardless, we will fulfill your request for Cherry Kool-Aid. However, Halle Berry will not be pouring it from her mouth into yours.For dessert, you asked for...

When I’m in love, I can’t stand anyone.

I love the newspaper. I love reading fiction.

Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend.” – Laney

I had a dream about you. You smiled at me, and I blushed like a red rose. Then you started sniffing my cheeks and I realized you were a bee and I’d been deceived.

Don’t alter my altar. I don’t believe you don’t believe.

I don’t know why it is, Captain Short, but whenever you start agreeing with me, I get decidedly nervous.

From behind Lissa, I heard Christian say, “Worst. Timing. Ever.” Adrian studied Lissa and then looked at Christain sprawling on the bed on the far side of the suite. “Huh,” Adrian said, letting himself in....

I loved her like the sun might say to the moon, “Stop stealing my light!”

As many as thirty or as few as ten years later, lying exhausted and still, eyes open in the dark long after the three suns of Rakhat had set, no longer bleeding, past the vomiting,...

We fell in love like nobody’s business. I wish it was everyone’s business, so that I could have made money off it.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school.””Oh I believe it,” I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker’s combination and tried to get...

A knight can fight. As you well know, I fight about as well as a pillow.””That’s an insult to pillows. At least they can take a beating.

So are my eyes. How do I always get roped into these things?” Avery coughs and pats Rob’s back in sympathy. A poof of dust billows from the contact.

I do a lot of business with businesses. And I do a lot of business with individuals. And guess what? It turns out the two are the same, as both are made up of only...

A blanket could be used to aid a sinner’s nightly prayer. I’m not shaking because I’m cold—I’m trembling with trepidation over the Wrath of God.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

How far would I go to be friends with someone? Halfway.

If you asked why the post had not come, or why the boat did not sail for England, or why your coffee was cold, or why your boots were not cleaned, or why your window...

Here’s a towel to dry your tears. I just wiped my ass with it.

There’s only one way of escaping trouble; and that’s killing things.” Henry Higgins, Act V, Pygmalion

Do you see that out there? The strange, unfamiliar light? It’s called the sun. Let’s go get us a little.

All writers are insane!

The ocean is a Turing machine, the sand is its tape; the water reads the marks in the sand and sometimes erases them and sometimes carves new ones with tiny currents that are themselves a...

I made a tactical error tonight with Wyatt.” She paused “Horizontally.” Sara laughed. “Again?

A blanket could be used to sell your winningest product to your loserest customer. Oh, loserest is a word. I know, because I just wrote it.

He was a humorist, and everyone knew the funny writers were the most serious sort under their skins.

I’m more terrified of failure than rejection—so I’ll no my way to YES!

You seem to know a lot about it,” she said. “And you do subtleties.””Yeah. Like I’ve always wanted to destroy the Nine Worlds while committing suicide.””Well, there’s no need to be rude,” protested Sif.

Pizza is circular. So is an hour. I’ll take two slices—to go.

A blanket could be used to let the world know how serious you are. I’m serious, it could work. Try wrapping your naked body in a blanket and showing up to a job interview and...

Well– I don’t know– the cops might not respond too well to you looking through their windows with a telescope.

There’s more salt in the ocean than in one bag of chips. Let this be a lesson in love.

I do not know if love lead to success but I know that hate dose, it is really work out .

I thought about kicking him in the balls, but I didn’t. I figured that would be over kill.” – Rendezvous with Destiny

Reiko set the ball on the ground and patted my knee. “Look,” she said, “I’m not telling you to stop sleeping with girls. If you’re O.K. with that, then it’s OK. It’s your life after...

A brick could be used like yellow sneezes hello every time love walks like a slinky down the stairs. Who used my shoe as a soup bowl?

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

So you were going to rescue the Prince! Why did you pretend to run away? To deceive the Witch?””Not likely! I’m a coward. Only way I can do something this frightening is to tell myself...

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won’t be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

How weird? We’re all dressed like people in a Jane Austen book. I think weird comes with the territory.

Good things come to those who ate. And I’m stuffed. Like a teddy bear. That might be why I’m the World Cuddling Champion.

A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams.

It depends if I get the window seat.

Don’t go on a ghost tour, because you won’t see a ghost. Well, you might. Maybe I have ghost blindness and can’t see the invisible.