Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it’s not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

You know, everybody’s ignorant, just on different subjects.

Everybody is ignorant, Just on different subjects.

you can’t say civilization dont advance, in every war they kill you in a new way

An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

Cuando amamos, el amor es demasiado grande para caber entero en nosotros; irradia hacia la persona amada, encuentra en ella una superficie que lo detiene, lo obliga a regresar hacia su punto de partida y...

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

I never met a man that I didn’t like.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

Rumor travels faster, but it don’t stay put as long as truth.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing,you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.The one that’s out always looks the best

Common sense ain’t common.

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people that they don’t like.

There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.

Lead your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can’t get us out.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.