Brilliance is impossible without a touch of insanity.

You barbarians!’ he yelled. ‘I’ll sue the council for every penny it’s got! I’ll have you hung, drawn and quartered! And whipped! And boiled…until…until…until…until you’ve had enough.’Ford was running after him. Very very fast.’And then...

I have a strong opinion on steroids.

Adoption is the most intentional process on Earth.

Six wives the King’s had now.’ Barak’s words dragged me from my reverie. ‘We can’t even get one between us.

Già nella vetrina della libreria hai individuato la copertina col titolo che cercavi. Seguendo questa traccia visiva ti sei fatto largo nel negozio attraverso il fitto sbarramento di Libri Che Non Hai Letto che ti...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Distributing unsolicited You’re Welcomes, it’s a thankless task. It’s almost as if people don’t want to see me at 4 AM as I knock on their doors.

I’m a little more reserved in person than people expect. But I warm up quickly, like leftovers. Meatloaf, anyone?

…I suppose clichés wouldn’t be clichés if they weren’t based on some sort of tediously predictable truth.

When may did so, he found every cup and saucer, plate, vase, and bowl standing arranged across the floor like pieces in a scaled-up chess game. “The Whitstable family tree,” Bryant explained, entering and setting...

My subconscious is like the ocean, only deeper and less polluted.

…he didn’t know when he was going to get the chance to play WoW again. And it was damn important to do his bit to save all life on Azeroth while he could.

Modern party-dance is simply writhing to suggestive music. It is ridiculous, silly to watch and excruciatingly embarrassing to perform. It is ridiculous, and yet absolutely everyone does it, so that it is the person who...

I’m older now, which I can’t help, but I’m also fatter, thanks to all the extra helpings.

if you hurt deeply, then it means you love deeply too. love is powerful thing, Jaron. In the end, love will help you win this war.”I chuckled, “that’d be a fine new strategy, I think....

Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma that beckons me like a fluff girl on scuffed knees.

He was thoughtless, not because he was insensitive, but because I had just eaten his brain and his skull was empty.

The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.

If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?

I weigh more than I used to. I’ve been eating a lot of fast food, so I must have put on some muscle—without even working out!

If I could make it better I would,” he says. In some ways it’s a stupid, obvious thing to say, but the way he said it, so honest and simple like it’s the truest thing...

People talk too much. Humans aren’t descended from monkeys. They come from parrots.

To stop a battle, a politician would propose a war.

The smell of new office supplies is so satisfying while being kicked out of Staples for inappropriate behavior with a file folder is so embarrassing.

Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon.

An upside down umbrella is a soup bowl. The next time it’s raining dinner, I’ll be there, and I’ll bring an extra spoon for you.

It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Within a science fictional space, memory and regret are, when taken together, the set of necessary and sufficient elements required to produce a time machine.

Credit Acts into Action.” – The Credit Repair Book: The Credit Repair Company’s Secret Weapon.

Just because I haven’t put a lot of thought into this book doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I warn you to read this book carefully. Savor my ideas. Memorize the pertinent passages. Eat with it, sleep...

Nothing mitigates the throes of depression like a steaming plate of spaghetti and meatballs with marinara sauce and grated parmasan cheese, with a good fresh bread to wipe up.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment.

And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It’s good for you.

Back in the days when gladiators hacked away at each other, there was always the man who decided whether the defeated should live or die. The job is usually given to the Emperor in movies,...

No matter which end of a hotdog you take your first bite from, I’ll tell you you’re eating it backwards. I’m serious, I think you may be dyslexic.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.

Cuddling was for great aunts and teddy bears. Cuddling gave him cramp.

After that, he tried to go upstairs through the broom cupboard, and then the yard. This seemed to puzzle him a little. But finally he discovered the stairs, all except the bottom on, and fell...

I’ll never be the size that has single digits and my thighs will always touch when I walk but I’m ok with that.

I knew I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how deep—just that I still hadn’t touched bottom.

You know what I like most about people? Pets.

Inviting the invading army over for dinner, buffet style, is a bad idea. Especially when I just took a bath in the last of your mac and cheese.

People will say,”there’s heaven and hell”, and they take it so serious that they look so sorrowful with penitence. I would rather ask them to show me the route that leads to heaven or hell.

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

Duke to Michel: I’m fairly certain that even ifyou’d struggle in a quiz against a pigeon, you are capable enough of opening doors.

All that crap about time being a great healer is bullshit. Time heals nothing. Well, acne maybe.

I’ve often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it’s the one right after the next to the last one.

I notice your absence. I notice your non presence and reflect on the time you were present, in the present, which is obviously in the past.