I was always fascinated by people who are considered completely normal, because I find them the weirdest of all

With every part you act, there must be a little of yourself in it. If there isn’t, it’s not acting. It’s lying.

I was ecstatic when they re-named “French fries” as “freedom fries.” Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Over the years all these vampire movies have come out and nobody looks like a vampire anymore.

Okay, I’m gonna tell you what to do. If the kid’s bugging you and puts his hands on you; you pick up the nearest rock…

If you ever have to choose between loving two people, always pick the second. If you really loved the first, you wouldn’t have fallen in love with the second.

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.

She’s kind of a walking poem, she’s this perfect beauty…but at the same time very deep, very smart.

Growing old is unavoidable, but never growing up is possible. I believe you can retain certain things from your childhood if you protect them – certain traits, certain places where you don’t let the world...

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

Music touches us emotionally, where words alone can’t.

Life’s pretty good, and why wouldn’t it be? I’m a pirate, after all

People say I make strange choices, but they’re not strange for me. My sickness is that I’m fascinated by human behavior, by what’s underneath the surface, by the worlds inside people.

I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.

I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.

When kids hit 1 year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

Am I a romantic? I’ve seen “Wuthering Heights” ten times. I’m a romantic.

A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

I would say that he has a rather limited and uncreative way of looking at the situation.

Throughout my lifetime I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there’s almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent.

Everything here is edible; even I’m edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.

It’s awful bad luck to bring a woman aboard the ship.””It’s awful worse luck not to.

My body is my journal, and my tattoos are my story.

Now, bring me that horizon.

Just keep moving forward and don’t give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you.

I always felt like I was meant to have been born in another era, another time.