I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I have a good ear for music, just like Van Gogh had a good ear for art.

I am not the No Factory I yessed into existence. I love with an intensity that needs to be felt to be purred.

For two years I was seeing a sex therapist. I’m now seeing a sex therapist.

My Zombie apocalypse plan is simple but effective; I fully intend to die in the very first wave.Seems more logical than undergoing all kinds of hardships only to die eventually anyway (through bites/malnutrition/or terminally chapped...

My dad always used to tell me __________________. My dad never told me anything. He had nothing to say, and even less to say to me.

Life is a pigsty.

You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster!

I honk at protestors to show my support, and also tell them to get the fuck out of my way.

I’m 60-years-old. -Ma’am, I don’t believe it. -You’re too kind. -It’s true. You look at least 75.

CIA. Global, mobile, with a cause that’s noble.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has...

My mom died. Then my dad died. I’ll try to do better next time.

It’s cloaked in cultural mumbo jumbo, but I assure you that it is very hard science.

You’re the only kick-ass general I know who needs three gay boys to dress him, John.””But I only need one gay boy to undress me.

A blanket isn’t the solution, a blanket is the problem. I say we burn all the blankets, along with the bodies of the unbelievers.

His hair isn’t turning gray—it’s turning silver, and it’s going up in value. Aging is the best hedge against an inflationary fiat currency.

Secret 4081312. Every bullet’s magic if you’ve got a magic gun.

Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?””Only once” said Hermione stung. “I got you loads more then you got me—””I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times—””Well if you’re...

The smell of silence looks like the ghost of my grandpa. My love is deeper than six feet of dirt, and considerably easier to shovel.

Wisdom of the Ages: “Soylent Green” No matter how many times I see that movie, I still get a hankerin’ for a Big Mac.

There are billions of men in the world, probably millions near my age. Maybe hundreds who are compatible with me. Maybe at least a dozen who would want to date me. There’s got to be...

Meatloaf.

Cancel tomorrow! Who do you think you are, God?

The real F-word is ‘future.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!

I wouldn’t want to work in a nursery, because I can’t deal with children. Or bees. Can I offer you some tea, or some biscuits and a diaper?

Lena scowled at the empty space in her living room. “Oh sure, thanks, I had fun too.” She’d stayed awake, spilled a cup of perfectly good tea, and for what? A spirit with the noncorporeal...

You can’t be creative without criticism. If your life is without critics then maybe you are painting your life’s masterpiece with only a broken brown crayon.

And like a good neighbor, Alpha Centauri is there.”Touched by an Alien

If you’re trapped in the dream of the Other, you’re fucked.

Well, if that’s true, I wasted a hell of a lot of money on panty hose and lipstick.” Jettie snorted.

What was to fear from a foe that could be defeated by a few potholes and the heat of the sun?

I have rubbed shoulders with the rich, the powerful, and the armless. It’s how to network when handshakes aren’t an option.

So where did you get your information? Werewolves for Dummies? No, wait, you watched Underworld? Or maybe you were raised by wolves? Stop mewhen I’m warm.” – Shella

Cara, in the lead, came to a halt beside them, looking from one to the other. “Still with the clothes, Lord Rahl?

I never heard back from her after our first date, so either she’s dead, or she rejected me. I wonder where her funeral was held.

It’s possible that I couldn’t handle the truth, but I sure wouldn’t mind fondling it to find out.

And no bacon,” Freya added.

Despite all that education and experience can do, I retain a certain level of unsophistication that I cannot eradicate and that my friends find amusing. In fact, I think I sometimes detect conspiratorial plottings among...

I don’t dress like I have any money. And I don’t have any money, which helps enable me to dress like that.

if something is there, you can only see it with your eyes open, but if it isn’t there, you can see it just as well with your eyes closed. That’s why imaginary things are often...

Masalah adalah apa yang kamu anggap masalah

One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.

I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me.

Stab me if you can enjoy it – but not if it feels like a duty. Stab me vertically if I’m lying down and horizontally if I’m running

Kill the body and the head will die.

It was mild monsters like these that made Jack the Ripper go after young women, she decided: who could tolerate yielding the world to someone who behaved as if she had given birth to the...

People are so cheap. Everyone wants quality, no one wants to pay for it. Here’s the suburban dream– to hire great workers who are such meek morons that they don’t have the guts to ask...

Thinking is the most overrated human activity.