I don’t want to be a supermodel; I want to be a role model.

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!

Personally, I think so-called “common language” is more interesting and apropos than “proper English”; it’s passionate and powerful in ways that “wherefore art thou ass and thy elbow” just isn’t.

Indeed, when I came to Italy, I expected to encounter a certain amount of resentment, but have received instead empathy from most Italians. In any reference to George Bush, people only nod to Berlusconi, saying”,”We...

If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead

just in case” like many other petrified atheists.

Don’t try. Just do it.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn’t experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.

If you take away my office, how will I get no work done?

Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, “You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood.

If you count sheep before you go to sleep, are you barrrrr’d from dreams?

It’s easier to start writing if you have something to write about, rather than staring at a blank screen thinking about nothing because you’re trying to think about everything. Try writing about love. I’ve proven...

Home. The word circled comfortably in my mouth like bubble gum, swished around sweetly soft and satisfying. Home. Try saying it aloud to yourself. Home. Isn’t it like taking a bite of something lovely? If...

The paradise in women is not the v-shape manipulation between their legs, or the two lovely bombs, set on their bosom that can blast any strong, holy spirit filled individual, but that part of her...

I’m a book lover. I’ve probably already fucked a whole library.

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well I have others.

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.

Makes Gabriel look sweeter than gingerbread. Hates Will even more thanGabriel, too, if that’s possible.

While getting a haircut, I thought about my failed marriage. Instead of feeling bad, I thought I’d grow a beard, move to the mountains, and start over.

I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is...

The Butcher of Babylon featured in over 500 porn films between 1974 and 1982, and was best known for his motto: Come for the butcher, stay for the meat.

I had this dream about you. We went hunting up in the mountains and I caught a unicorn. You told me now I know how it feels to be you.

Like pets, I name my leftover food. Only I name them all after myself, partly so my coworkers won’t eat them in the fridge, but mostly out of vanity.

Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoe said. “We should eat while we can.”Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?”Zoe blinked. “Yes. What is funny?””Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a straight face....

So, technically,” Simon said, “even though Jace isn’t actually related to you, you have kissed your brother.

Taste my tears and tell me I don’t have the saltiest love you’ve ever licked. My love for you is like a liquid potato chip.

I am very much out of my element here. There are moments, listening to the conversations going on around me, when I feel I am going to lose my mind. Earlier today, I heard someone...

I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to

I mined my clone’s thoughts. I hope he doesn’t mind.

You’re a stalker with hooves.””I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.

Lazy people, the truly lazy people live on information, strategies, ideas, plans and many other criticals, simply to spend one hour of hard work and make the rest feel like a breeze.

It has often been saidthere’s so much to be read,you never can cramall those words in your head.So the writer who breedsmore words than he needsis making a chorefor the reader who reads.That’s why my...

Vampires have credit cards?””We’re undead, not Amish.

There’s major depression, and then there’s clinical depression. Major depression is what makes you jump off a bridge. I have clinical depression. I jump out of first story windows. It’s the psychological equivalent of lying...

Christ Jesus Eve, I love you.”–Eve, Roarke

Okay,” I said. “Just a normal afternoon and two normal people.”She nodded. “And so…hypothetically, if these to people likes each other, what would it take to get the stupid guy to kiss the girl, huh?””Oh…”...

The one undeniable benefit of having spent some time in the closet is that it nurtures a talent that you can fall back on any time: lying convincingly. Sometimes I worried that queer kids in...

I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some.

Don’t even think about it.””Well, when can I walk by myself?””When you get your driver’s license.””You always, always say that.” Dillie scowled at him. “That’s when everything happens.””It’s going to be a busy day,” Phin...

If you need me I’ll be napping in the supplies closet. The most important part of an attack is the planning.

My sister, Judy, has always said that she would like to lie in state, propped up in her coffin with her eyes blared wide open, face fixed in a big grin, and have a taped...

Before I could lose my courage, I said, “Don’t I get a kiss for luck? It’s kind of a tradition, right?”I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the...

Mr. Satterthwaite looked cheered. Suddenly an idea struck him. His jaw fell. “My goodness,” he cried, “I’ve only just realized it! That rascal, with his poisoned cocktail! Anyone might have drunk it! It might have...

Instead of mascots, there should be mass cots, because these sports fanatics are intellectually asleep.

I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

…,dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you’re lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. Chapter I.

What’s the difference between praying and crying? One you’re talking to God, and the other you’re talking to God but you don’t know it.

Oh, Hazel is awesome,” Don Said. “She’s so nice! All the other campers are like ‘Go away Don.’ But she’s like ‘Please go away, Don.’ I love her!

Embroidery?” I sucked at embroidery. Aunt Hyacinth had tried to teach me, but we’d both given it up as a lost cause.Lucy, strangely, had picked it up really quickly and embroidered a tapestry of Johnny...