A fridge will keep your steaks fresh, but keeping a live cow in grandmother’s room will keep the meat fresher. Let this be a lesson in love.

She says it’s wrong to be frittering away my hours asking questions when there’s work to be done. But I don’t see how a question can be wrong. Can you, Pa? Ma says the Bible...

Cows are gentle, interesting animals.

On wheels. It’s fun to ride sometimes, when you don’t care how you smell.

I’m afraid of those cows,’ protested poor Dora, seeing a prospect of escape.’The very idea of your being scared of those cows,’ scoffed Davy. ‘Why, they’re both younger than you.

Little Joe was still behind him. Eli could feel it. He wanted to look back, but he couldn’t. The tears were too close. If he were Fancy, he’d turn around and kick and buck and...

I have learned that I, we, are a dollar-a-day people (which is terrible, they say, because a cow in Japan is worth $9 a day). This means that a Japanese cow would be a middle...

I’ll stop eating steak when you stop killing spiders.” Absurdity: comparing cows to spiders. Arachnids are pure evil. They’re like a cigarette manufacturer or a terrorist. They’re organized religion on eight legs.

To country people Cows are mild,And flee from any stick they throw;But I’m a timid town bred child,And all the cattle seem to know.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a...

If I had thought the beef marrow might be a hell of a lot of work for not much difference, I needn’t have worried. The taste of the marrow is rich, meaty, intense in a...

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Twenty-five, he was. Twenty-five tomorrow. Some years the snow had melted for his birthday, but not this year, and so it had been a long winter full of cows.

#1487: Hug a cow.

It’s just the way things are. Take a moment to consider this statement. Really think about it. We send one species to the butcher and give our love and kindness to another apparently for no...

The cattle crouched round them in soft shadowy clumps, placidly munching, and dreaming with wide-open eyes. The narrow zone of colour created by the firelight was like the planet Earth – a little freak of...

We love dogs and eat cows not because dogs and cows are fundamentally different–cows, like dogs, have feelings, preferences, and consciousness–but because our perception of them is different.

Women are still cats and birds. Or at the best, cows.

A cow’s heaven is a flower’s idea of hell.

…and available man candy. But at least there would be mud, and maybe cows.” p12

So this is what commodity corn can do to a cow: industrialize the miracle of nature that is a ruminant, taking this sunlight- and prairie grass-powered organism and turning it into the last thing we...

Watching two cows have sex is the most magical experience at Cereal Land.

You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket.