A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps.

Some people flip condos and make millions. Your boyfriend couldn’t even flip burgers and make minimum wage.

If people feel lost and alone and helpless and broken and hopeless today, what will it be like if the world really begins to come apart at the hinges?

Like eggs, I’m scrambling to get ahead in this economic depression.

I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job.

The escalator doesn’t work, and you’d think they’d still be used as stairs, but in this economic depression, even the stairs are unemployed.

According to research from punchaguywithglasses.com, homeless people are making as much money as most recent college graduates.

The number I had for her didn’t work. But in this depression, could you blame it?

I applied for your love like a recent MBA grad might apply at Walmart today. I grew a beard on my chest and laughed through my ass just to get your attention.

As a rule of thumb, hitchhiking is no fun. If you’re going to stand around waiting to move, you may as well get paid to hold a pawnshop sign.

In a depression, attendance to sporting events goes down, while the percentage of people fornicating goes up, because sex is free. I know, some of you are probably thinking, Free! Where do I find those...

Poverty in western Mexico is an Unconditional Sentence.

Oh, look, there are jobs available in Jacksonville! Today there are two jobs for me and 1.2 million other people in this city to choose from. I can either go into the advertising industry by...

Whenever a state or an individual cited ‘insufficient funds’ as an excuse for neglecting this important thing or that, it was indicative of the extent to which reality had been distorted by the abstract lens...

Broke is a relative term, like sister, cousin, or Uncle Sam.

Crying about the economy is a strategy. It won’t get you a job, but it will keep Kleenex in business.

Those responsible for our economic depression have been found irresponsible. The irresponsible are responsible!