In a blind taste test, nine out of ten Helen Kellers preferred Blue Ribbon Coffee to Starbucks. The tenth Helen Keller, well, she claimed she didn’t hear the question.

Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up.

Enjoying a cup of coffee and a good book, is there anything better? Only if literature were liquid and drinkable.

Word of mouth is often louder than word of hand, although applause can be deafening. I clap like Helen Keller drank coffee—with two spoonfuls of silence.

It only gives as much steam as it gives, man!”Wonderful.

I cleaned the shit off my pink high-tops and drove home, stopping for an espresso at the coffeehouse across from the college. Men and women were hunched over copies of Jean Paul Sartre and writing...

Asking me to do ANYTHING before I’ve had my first cup of coffee should be an episode on 1000 Ways to DIE.

Free yourself from the slavery of tea and coffee and other slopkettles

The findings are of modest changes in certain cardiovascular disease risk factors. This should not do anything to coffee-consumption patterns, … An explanation is lacking. There is a need for validation and better understanding of...

I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.

I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.

Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I’ll be happy for the rest of my fucked up little life.

I drink sleep, but not like I drink coffee. I chug one and sip the other.

My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to the bottom of the cup, where all the sugar is. I wonder if life is the same way as we...

My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee, though I prefer it melted and hot enough to burn flesh.

I stood under the umbrella for hours before I folded it up and started walking. Umbrellas can block the sun, shield the rain, and if you flip an open one over, it can also be...

Midgets smell like small, and I’m in the mood for a medium, like a large coffee from Starbucks.

Coffee and Saturday go together like me and Suzy McKloozy went to prom together. We didn’t, and they don’t.

I tried to wear my shirt while it was still on the hanger. That’s just the kind of morning person I am with no coffee.

I’m not the same person I was when I wasn’t. I’m different now, in that now I’m drinking coffee.

Coffee, unless it is very good and made by somebody else, is pretty intolerable at any time.

It rather goes without saying that Katherine drank her coffee black. Katherines do, generally. They like their coffee like they like their ex-boyfriends: bitter.

I’m a coffee expert. I’m not a medical expert, but I play one on TV. – on Oprah Winfrey interview

After getting dressed at warp speed, I actually managed to drive all the way to high school before I realized I’d forgotten my morning coffee. Mystery, intrigue, and naked dreams aside, that didn’t bode well...

Coffee and humanity both sprang from the same area in eastern Africa. What if some of those early ape-men nibbled on the bright red berries? What if the resulting mental stimulation opened them up to...

And waking, once again, face smudged into Andrea’s couch, the red quilt humped around her shoulders, smelling coffee, while Andrea hummed some Tokyo pop song to herself in the next room, dressing, in a gray...

I have only two wishes,” said Jean. “The first is for strong coffee, and the second is for stronger coffee.

Colombians might live in one of best places in the world to grow coffee beans, yet their cups of coffee come from dehydrated granules in tiny plastic packages. This is the definition of tragedy.

I figure my coffee won’t have time to get cold before this is over.

If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them replaced with a coffee table. Half man/half furniture, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.

Good days are ahead of me. But so is the worst day of my life—my last day. I need a cup of coffee large enough to take a bath in.

I drink coffee with a spoon, and I eat soup with a straw. The clang of metal on an empty mug wakes me up to the moment and reminds me to love.

We fought, we drank coffee, and then we made up. Then I made up the part about us having made out, because I was trying to impress my ex girlfriend and grandma (two people, not...

My facial expression must have looked like a swarm of bees as I drank the hot brown liquid. Whatever it was, it was not the sting of coffee I swigged with swagger. Bitter is better...

I want to start a band called the Band-Aids. Free coffee for all who come to our show. We’d perform for the deaf and the asleep.

Coffee, it’s love you can brew and drink. There is an edible kind of love, and if you’re interested, I make it by hand.

If I buy you a coffee and you get a winning cup, it’s your car. I might be mad at you as your best friend but you’re the winner.

My bark has meow, and in bed I’m in the moment like instant coffee. Do you prefer cream or sugar in your orgasms?

I should make a tongue condom shaped like an oven mitt, so my mouth’s spoken language muscle is protected from hot coffee.

Coffee is far more than a beverage. It is an invitation to life, disguised as a cup of warm liquid. It’s a trumpet wakeup call or a gentle rousing hand on your shoulder … Coffee...

They can kill the Kennedys. Why can’t they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?

I ordered a single espresso because I wanted a drink I could hook up with.

Is there any time in your life when you do not feel the need for caffeine?””Sure. Sometimes I’m asleep.

I went out the kitchen to make coffee – yards of coffee. Rich, strong, bitter, boiling hot, ruthless, depraved. The life blood of tired men.

But there are people who take salt with their coffee. They say it gives a tang, a savour, which is peculiar and fascinating. In the same way there are certain places, surrounded by a halo...

As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?

I sauntered to the kitchen, where the lone pot of afternoon coffee had been reduced to thick black syrup. Glad that no one was around to watch, I filled a Styrofoam cup halfway with the...

I combined a unicycle with coffee table legs. You know, for balance and sexual stamina. I make love like I’m at the drive-thru, and I am, because I’m in a rush and I don’t have...

Respect doesn’t have to be shiny. It just needs to be wearable. Would you be so kind as to hold my jockstrap while I stir your hot coffee?

I listen to helloes at 65 MPH. Anything faster is just asking for a goodbye. I’m too love and in young to do anything but drink coffee out of a helmet, while wearing a helmet....