In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps.

He handed the dust pan and brush over. I knew they wouldn’t be much use in cleaning the floor. I also knew the real reason he had given them to me: so he could look...

But when we reduce sex to a function, we also invoke the idea of dysfunction. We are no longer talking about the art of sex; rather, we are talking about the mechanics of sex. Science...

Francisco l’attrasse a sé e le cercò le labbra. Fu un bacio casto, tiepido, lieve tuttavia ebbe l’effetto di una scossa tellurica nei loro sensi. Entrambi percepirono la pelle dell’altro prima mai così precisa e...

if a chick can’t dance, she can’t ride dick, simple as that …

Why drown in love when you can have so much fun swimming in lust?

I was asked to be in Vogue but I said no. I didn’t want to advertise make-up. I didn’t want to be seen as a sex symbol.

For most of Western civilization low sexual desire has been considered a goal rather than a problem.

We made love like two coiled up fire hoses. When there’s no fire in the romance, why not act like a couple of sleeping snakes?

Come on, Princess,” he called to the bench, and Carlotta bounced up. She was wide like the rest of them, but no man could fairly say she was too wide. The most that could be...

There’s a FEW THINGS you need to get STRAIGHT about being GAY…” “That’s an OXYmoron.””You’ll be an OXYmoron if you don’t listen. GAY men SUCK and FUCK. They don’t go around falling in LOVE. At...

My friends mess around with my friends—and my friends’ bikes. Sex with bicycles—that kind of love is just too fast for me. I’ll stick to sticking it in statues.

The power of the man, with a mind shut down. The strength of the super human. The survival of the species. The deafness of a beast. That’s the power of the penis.

I had a dream about you. I was a sleeping bag salesman, and you sold insomnia. I tried talking you into selling sex instead, because that way we could sell combo packages. But you said...

I had a dream last night I was on tinder and all the picks were me in make up I was like she’s hot I’d do her. I just walked into my therapist office.

I wonder if babies could be made more efficiently on a conveyer belt.

When sex is Freon any occasion, it usually involves something dripping and toxic. At least that’s what my mechanic tells me.

Too bad my car key won’t start my house. And to answer your unasked question, no you can’t use my toaster like a dual vagina. At least not for the two-for-one price. That price only...

The worst part about working in a hotel is when I’m tired, I know I can’t sample the very thing I sell: sleep. I also sell sex, but I must be discreet in the sheets.

When asked about sex, she said she had a headache. I said I have a pill for that. It’s called a Viagra, & I’d be willing to take it for her.

I lived without without, until I found a box full of it that was empty. That’s also where I found love. You should always check carefully—especially when the box you’re checking is a gender preference...

I make love efficiently. Why involve two people, when the same outcome can be done by one?

Jacksonville’s unofficial moniker is “The Latex Capital of the Universe.” But we don’t wear condoms—we wear rubber gloves. We have the safest handshakes in the world.

M.

The true feeling of sex is that of a deep intimacy, but above all of a deep complicity

I’m only saying what you won’t. He’s a hunk, admit it. A tall, dark, exotic hunk who wants to bed you, and you must be a fucking nun, because it’s been three weeks since you...

If I am capable of loving you Lord MacCaulay, of devoting myself to you, it will never be under the terms to which other women submit, for I am battle-born – a female warrior sworn...

If she did experience sex–or something close to it–in high school, I’m sure it would have been less out of sexual desire or love than literary curiosity.

Her long body stiffened against him. Her cool fingers tightened in his shaggy fur, and her bare, clinging heels dug deep into his heaving flanks. She was sweet against him, and the clear logic of...

In his mind he saw them standing with the tips of their organs pressed together ejaculating into each other’s penis.

The Irish people didn’t get on that well with each other either. They hated the Catholics, was the main issue, as I see. You can’t blame them for that. If I understand correctly, Catholics do...

And even though they had not had sex yet, he was a great lover, replacing sex with the science of bravery and inner strength. Meredith had always wanted a man with this kind of depth.

You let me set the water in the shower, and followed me into the booth to stand there with me under the warm spray. You kept your head down, not looking me in the eyes—though...

I was sixteen and my mother was about to throw me out of the house forever, for breaking a very big rule, even bigger than the forbidden books. The rule was not just No Sex,...

And that beautiful face is going to be clamped between my legs as soon as we get home, don’t you worry.

Later I would come to believe that erotic ties were all a spell, a temporary psychosis, even a kind of violence, or at least they coexisted with these states. I noted that criminals as well...

Sports is to war as pornography is to sex.

If you can’t sublimate your fear of mortality into sex with your best friend, what’s it there for?

Her heart unfolded in her chest, took in all of him, and closed tightly, unwilling to let him go

Evan nuzzled his chin into the crook of Dan’s neck, finding the spot that always made Dan squirm and laugh. “I love you, Danny.””You gets so fucking sappy after I let you top,” Dan responded,...

There was a part of me that was so horny, I wanted to climb on top of Randall on the first date. But there was also a part of me that was so terrified, I...

I wiped my jaw with a forearm, half imagining that I could still feel the product of the quickie out back of the bar.

No matter what happened, there was always one thing Isla could rely on: the sheer arrogance of male wolves. That, and their overriding assumption all females found them irresistible and were desperate to get them...

The idea makes you laugh, and you’re instantly sympathetic. We’ve all lived through that moment where we had sex for the first time. You’re terrified, so the idea of a guy so scared he let...

What Hans had intended to end at a simple kiss quickly escalated into something neither one of them seemed able to stop.

Ohmygod, please do this more, and by more I mean all the time.” And the more you please her, the more she’ll want to do it with you. It’s a win-win!

Anger is like sex urge, once gratified, the inner voice calls you a stinking fool.

No, this wasn’t just about sex, but for the next hour or so, it was going to be mostly about sex.

If our sex life were determined by our first youthful experiments, most of the world would be doomed to celibacy. In no area of human experience are human beings more convinced that something better can...

You can deduct it from my slow and painful death.