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Comedy-Humor  Quotes
Rivera rubbed his temples. “Satan told you to do it?” he said wearily.”No.””Elvis?””I told you, it’s supernatural.

—Christopher Moore

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Comedy-HumorElvisSupernatural
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The table was covered with food like roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, roast turkey, roast liquorice and, the centrepiece, a roasted knight.

—Elias Zapple

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AstronautsChildren's-BooksComedy-Humor
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I like big books and I cannot lie.You other readers can’t denyThat when a kid walks in with The Name of the WindLike a hardbound brick of win.Story bling.Wanna swipe that thingCause you see that...

—Jim C. Hines

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Comedy-HumorFantasyTome
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I like to think I’m not stupid often, tonight proves that when I am, I do it in a big way.

—Lisa Renee

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Comedy-HumorErotic-Romance
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If you ordered up a whore here, you’d probably get a theater major doing Joan Crawford as Sadie Thompson. I wonder what would happen if I ordered up a Hershey bar?” His eyes lit up...

—Kage Baker

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Comedy-HumorScience-Fiction
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It isn’t dopa…whatever! It’s love! Love!

—Meg Cabot

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Comedy-HumorDopamineHumor
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One should never give up on hope. Unless that’s the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

—Carroll Bryant

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ComedyComedy-HumorComical
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I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it’s harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show off.

—Rita Mae

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ComedyComedy-HumorComic
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Today I feel like I did tomorrow.

—Carroll Bryant

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ComedyComedy-HumorHumor
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A stitch in time saves uncontrollable blood loss

—Simon Haynes

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Comedy-HumorScience-Fiction
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Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

—Carroll Bryant

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Comedy-HumorComicalHumor
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When people get into their 30s plus “boyfriend” sounds weird…if you really think about it. Instead, I think we should universally start using the term “manfriend” or “snookie bookie cuddles pie”.

—Michelle M.

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BoyfriendComedyComedy-Humor
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I can fly around the world in one night. I can wink and go up a chimney in a split second. I can be in 500 shopping malls on the same weekend. I can even...

—Bobbi Ann

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ChristmasComedy-HumorSatire
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Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.

—Steve Martin

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ComediansComedyComedy-Humor
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Answering the question ‘How would you like to smell?’ by saying ‘I’d rather I didn’t’ is also no longer acceptable. It’s not playing the game. Men are expected to put some cash into the cosmetic...

—David Mitchell

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Back-StoryComedy-HumorMemoir
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