By the time that adorable steak and I had become one flesh I could have taken on the whole Valmy clan singlehanded.

If you constantly make it clear that you are unwilling to budge, don’t get upset when no one is around who’s willing to give you a push.

People who think animals have expressionless faces are like people who can ignore an open package of Oreos. Not quite human.

I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.

Oh, is that what we’re supposed to be doing? Because I’ve just been drawing hearts and our initials in the dirt.” Sophie + Archer

Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What (women) like is to be a man’s last romance.

I’ve admired a lot of people in my life time and some of them were actually alive.

Don’t ignore me. I only get more annoying.

He could dish it out like nobody, but he could take it too. He had that sarcastic sense of humor. When you first become his teammate, you see some things and wonder, ‘Is he serious...

I engage in subtle stalking. That’s entirely different and perfectly socially acceptable.

Cayl replies…I understand the human reproductive system, Agent Denning; I’m here to capture a killer, not indulge in these intrusive human senses.

Well, so you don’t get too cocky, I myself often complete the TV Guide crossword puzzle.” He puffed out his chest. “In pen.

All magic cookies with a price!

As a little girl, I’d have given up my Barbie Dreamhouse to have a miniature purple dragon – as an adult, I didn’t find it nearly as exciting.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a very large man brandishing a bloodstained antique phone receiver in a plastic bag and proclaiming, “I found this up him!””You know,” said Tallow, “I really have no response...

You want to grab something here, Brycin?” he asked, bending over again. Um . . . yeah. Your ass.

The most overpowering will is the will to not work.

True…I hear voices in my head keep talking to me. The good thing for now is…I never answer them back.

Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest...

There were certain instances where I used humor to deflect questions, and I guess some reporters took offense,

To enjoy a peaceful & Beautiful Life We should open our ‘EYE’ and Close our ‘I

A wise man is someone who knows how to convert obstacles into resources.

You know, Becky, you haven’t been the same since that crowbar fell on your head.

The problem with the world is that no one knows how to shit anymore!

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

There is a tale…It tells of the days when a blight hung over our land. Nothing prospered. Nothing flourished. Not even zucchini would grow.

I’ve been waiting for this a long time.”-Martin “Let me guess that you’re wishing for your IQ to break double figures?”- Alex V.

Everything is uncomfortable for the first time: School, Smoking or Sex.

It’s like somebody stuffed him in a barrel full of moonshine-proof cluelessness and then left him there to get pickled in it while it fermented into malice.

We are a bed business, and a coffee-room business. We are not a general dining business, nor do we wish it. In consequence, when diners drop in, we know what to give ’em as will...

My question was:How did I go from merely seeing the dirty French Santa in a bar to being in his hotel room the next morning? And this presented me with an actual equation. How did...

Thought for the day: Twitter…140 character limit…must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers…

He will work off his crudities in time. I rather mistrust young men who slip into life gracefully.

Switzerland is only bearable covered with snow,” Aunt Augusta said, “like some people are only bearable under a sheet.

No ruby slippers here, just a lot of supernatural jackassess.

Just so you know, I hate camping. I’m not so much appreciating the fact that there’s no bathroom out here. ‘Nature calls’ while walking in nature is on my list of least favorite things. You...

While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs....

Kiss my ass Rath Roiben Rye

Is that-am I looking at her beaver?”Mid-swig, I choke on the mouthful of beer, sputtering and coughing. After I recover, I ask jokingly, “‘Beaver’? Are you Canadian or something?

And there you sit, gloating over what you have done, as if you were a martyr or a public benefactor — as complacent and smug and misunderstood as a princess from the moon forced to...

Basset Hounds never get scared. We’re fearless, resolute and know how to season a good lamb chop.

Alexandra, my eldest, here, plays the piano, or reads or sews; Adelaida paints landscapes and portraits (but never finishes any); and Aglaya sits and does nothing. I don’t work too much, either.

You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey.””Karl, we’re not fourteen!””Don’t bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen — your neck owes me a hickey.”(Karl &...

Wakey wakey eggs and bacey!

Pray, what’s the nature of his trouble?” Prudence asked solicitously.”Oh, cursed bad news, my boy. That old aunt of his from whom he has expectations has rallied, and they say she’ll last another ten years....

Doubt is a lot like faith; A mustard’s seed worth changes everything.

Which just goes to show, I guess, that dinner parties are like everything else – not as fragile as we think they are.

Diesel sucked air. “You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you.””I’m not fondling you. I’m looking for the keys!””Could you look a little more gently? You’re scaring my boys.

I’m not much for screaming or yelling. Sometimes I use humor, sometimes I get real blunt. I’m probably not the easiest person to play for.

Billy squinted at me. “Why are you letting them go?””Because they’re real.””How do you know?””The one I was holding crapped on my hand.