It’s not how you look, it’s how you feel in the dark

Retirement is lie sex. Men love to talk about it, but when the time finally comes, they’re good for about fifteen minutes then they’re dying to put their ties back on.

Life is like the stock market. Some days you’re up. Some days you’re down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.

History, of course, is never real. People either glorify it or horrify it. Or at the very least color it.