Rachel: You’re a half-blood, too?Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren’t human! They’re half Greek god!…They don’t seem to care.

When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle.

Never postpone until tomorrow what you can postpone until the day after.

Instead of selling other countries weapons, we should sell them candles. Maybe then instead of singing the praises of war, they’d start singing Happy Birthday. And I don’t know anybody, not even my bully of...

Something you killed didn’t stay dead? Wow. That must have really put some termites in your coffin.

If I had my way no one should be taught to read until after he had passed his hundredth year. In that way, and in that way only can we protect our youth from the...

Being with her can prove difficult, but life without her would be unbearable.

Because I’m not kissing you until you do. And brush your hair while you’re at it.

A bird was shot. I suspect fowl play. The next man to be shot is the man who wrote that pun. Excuse me while I load my gun and shoot myself.

If you’d just learn to do as I say from the beginning, I wouldn’t have to follow up your errors with reproving smirks and repeated ‘I told you so’s’.

I’d urge you to try German Riesling because it’s delicious, but I fear you’ll be more impressed if I tell you it’s cutting-edge. That, after all, is what we want to know– what’s now and...

My own opinion is enough for me, and I claim the right to have it defended against any consensus, any majority, anywhere, any place, any time. And anyone who disagrees with this can pick a...

The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace’s. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace’s again. Take it and enjoy the consequences.

My love for you is like food for a statue. My love is like anything from McDonald’s, because it will never decay and always looks brand new.

so I have to use lots and lots of little ones.

I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle.

Look, Laszlo. I’ll have the dentist with me, and I don’t want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk.”Shanna halted. Her mouth...

Small Man can be a very funny or a very tiresome Tour Companion, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you. He gambles, he drinks too much and he always runs away. Since the...

Charlene says:I hope I can be a star. I want to be able to set goals so I know where I’m going. It feels like I’ve been sort of floating around without being sure where...

We considered behaving, but it’s against our nature.

There’s a hair in my food! Well, I did order all the cuddles I can eat. A buffet of sleep is how I describe my love to strangers on trains.

You know how hard it is to feel like an extreme falcon-headed combat machine when somebody calls you “chicken man”?

Most scars are invisible. Damn transparent knives. Does anything cut deeper than love? I need to get some new body armor.

If you meet an angel, you will have not peace, but a fever.

No, I can’t die because there are too many jackasses falling over themselves to take my place! I may live forever just to spite them!

My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.

Seriously, I ‘ve got to know if I need to protect you from people running with pencils.” ~ Laney

With my grandma, every Sunday after church.

Two farewell gifts,” Sadie muttered, “from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life.

I used his severed hand as a murder weapon. I hope I didn’t get my fingerprints on his fingerprints.

As an American, I’d like to apologize-for everything.

The table was covered with food like roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, roast turkey, roast liquorice and, the centrepiece, a roasted knight.

All trademarks, company names, registered names, products, characters, mottos, logos, jingles and catchphrases used or cited in this work are the property of their respective owners and have only been mentioned and or used as...

You have naked angels running around your house,” Jenna continued through her laughter. Gabby laughed louder.

An optimist is a man who plant two acorns and buy a hammock.

Three quarters, two dimes, a rubber band and—score! A piece of celery.”He started munching on the celery, eyeing the change and the rubber band like they might be next.

She looks so serious. Why such a stern look? Oh yeah, somebody’s just been murdered. With all my diabolical laughter, I seem to have forgotten about that.

Things on the essential list: vodka, Nine Inch Nails, a steady supply of mortal men, and an all-purpose bitchy attitude.

I don’t think he’s dumber than a politician. But only because it’s not possible to be dumber than a politician.

He’s wearing his official university sweatshirt again, which puzzles me a little. I mean I’d sort of understand it more if it said Yale or Harvard or something, because then it would be a fashion...

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

My nail is a bit rusty.

I can tell by the look on Hagin’s face that he had eaten some of my food. It is amazing those boys aren’t fat.

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Before you enter politics, I pray you lose your anal virginity to a unicorn.

Baby girl, five minutes alone with me and you’re gonna be begging me to taste your pie.

Beans are a warm cloak against economic cold.

Beth We Steve I know you can Dave. I’m a lover, not a We’re Closed Until Further Notice kind of mannequin. Your donkey is my motorcycle of desire.

I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.