In the first place, Cranford is in possession of the Amazons; all the holders of houses above a certain rent are women. If a married couple come to settle in the town, somehow the gentleman...

Boys are found everywhere- on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerated them, adults ignore them...

Miss Vesper Holly has the digestive talents of a goat and the mind of a chess master. She is familiar with half a dozen languages and can swear fluently in all of them. She understands...

If I were handicapped, I’d travel by horse. Well, that’s assuming my wheelchair would be stable on the horse’s back. I’d be a coffee addict and porn historian.

When my internal voice goes external, and I’m in a noisy crowd, I can hardly hear myself think.

The F word turns me on, she whispered. The F word?FoodHe threw back his head and laughed. It rumbled up out of his chest and felt so good it startled him. For the first time...

I could see that she was eager to please and impress me, and I was excited to see someone so excited to try to excite me. In all the excitement I forgot where I was,...

I’ve created a monster, haven’t I?” said Merlin, staring at the animated figure incredulously.”I think that, technically, I was already a monster,” the dragon replied. “Now I am a monster with social networking skills. Or...

I don’t have enough gross words in my gross vocabulary to describe how gross that gross thought is. Gross.

It was the hat. He looked sweet in the hat. How could a man in a fuzzy blue hat have used human bones to pave his roads?

Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casiusoh i do,I’m just so pissed i had extra left over – Jace

I saw a white toilet, with no plumbing, alone in a field of snow. Well, almost alone. There were two naked albinos and a polar bear sitting on it, and I felt inspired to write...

Not another word, not another thought, not another sniffle. If you need to pass gas, I pray you’ll clench your backside and keep walking until we are certainly alone.

75% of my life is spent wasting time. The other 25% isn’t nearly as productive.

I would rather save a few seconds than a few cents. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m saving them in your sofa cushions.

God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends.

It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all...

I caught a fish with a deep voice. It was a bass.

Number eight of the ten Amazon commandments: never fight an opponent face-to-face if you couldn’t defeat him. Wait and stab him in the back later.

Although initially only few in numbers, it seems my gray hairs have launched an effective peer-pressure campaign intended to convert the others.

I was half asleep when I first saw her. She thought I was being flirty and winking at her. One eye open, one eye shut, that’s the best way to see love.

There’s money to be made with a name like Cash. I should print myself into popularity.

Never put off until tomorrow that which may be avoided entirely.

It’s about time! It’s supposed to be a ritual, not a marathon.

Who was where when has no impact on where you are now.

A brick could be used to suppress the price of gold. But not for very long, because once the people realize the unrealized potential in undercutting the central bankers, gold will rise and fiat currency...

You’re thinking I’m one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I’m not. I say its a free country...

Do you wanna play? Everyone’s dead, so I got bored. Did you come to play with me?–Wrath

I like giving gifts, but I like not spending money more.

Let’s quit our jobs and fuck all day.

You remind me of an old cat I once had. Whenever he killed a mouse he would bring it into the drawing-room and lay it affectionately at my feet. I would reject the corpse with...

A brick, in the hands of a Mason, could be used to cover up and hide a secret handshake.

A brick could be used to flavor your bathtub water, and raise the fluid level, so you perceive that you have more to drink.

At least I rescued your poor hot dog.

You said th’ Magic was in my back. Th’ doctor calls it rheumatics.

Courage is a commodity I sell in times of peace. But then my father was a chicken farmer.

McKenzie was Caroline’s primary wingman. They had matching Coach bags to prove it.

He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it was an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did. What he did...

I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold?

Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . ....

I’m Crusty,” he said, with a tartar-yellow smile.I resisted the urge to say, Yes, you are.

scientifically.

I knew we were destined to be lovers from the moment she tied me up and stuffed me in the trunk of her car.

I was just thinking that he might be willing. It’s not like he needs his semen.

They mean hot like ‘I’m too good for you I got my own money don’t be frontin’ me.’ You’re more like ‘Be my boyfriend I’ll make you cookies come meet my dad ‘ know what...

We made love like we made dinner. We had leftovers.

This damn ring had derailed her life. No wonder Gollum had gone insane.

Come on.

Around eighth grade Margot started getting really sensitive about her weight, even though she wasn’t remotely fat—just a little round-faced. So Margot did what any normal fourteen-year-old girl would do. She started puking on purpose,...

My high school teachers didn’t call me “The Babe Ruth of the Bicycle” for nothing. It’s too bad they didn’t call me that, because it was accurate.