Now,” said Brandons low, cold voice. “Lets not be rude eve.

Sleep: to see and do, and do nothing.

The main bridge of the original Starship Enterprise had pictures of galaxies above each workstation. Probably in case the ship got lost.

Unless you’re in an early seventies-era Eagles cover band, a founding member of a religious cult, or sleeping under a bridge in Seattle, lose the beard and get a haircut. Power doesn’t have time for...

I waffled over the issue like a pancake with texture similar to the bottom of a 1970s track shoe. I ran through all sides, and decided it’s love.

Marcus and Ellie exchanged a worried look and examined the bag again. Sure enough, the gold was gone.

I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.

I don’t know what it is about “magic happens”-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it “so does cot death”.

Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.

Could I have the whole kit, but none of the caboodle?

Will I have to use a dictionary to read your book?” asked Mrs. Dodypol. “It depends,” says I, “how much you used the dictionary before you read it.

There’s probably a word for that,” but there’s probably a word for that.

You can find humor in everything. everything.

A swimming pool full of coffee would be great to jump in first thing in the morning. After all, people often call me the Molly Brown of the Brown-water Bathtub. Also, I hate ice in...

This is not a funny moment. It’s not. I’m not laughing

I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness.

Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She...

I don’t wanna be the joker who makes eyes full of tears in the end

He asked me an important question, so I said nothing, but silently reached for a piece of paper and scribbled down the words: Peacocks love peach cobbler.

It hardly matters, sweet; once they’ve come off, the attention isn’t likely to center on my absurdly handsome knees.

I like my cakes nude, like I like wearing coats made of icing. I sweat hot coffee, so I wear cream deodorant. If you’re tired, you should lick my armpits.

Don’t talk. You’ll just spoil my fantasy of rescuing an innocent damsel in distress as soon as you open your mouth.

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

A credit card allows you transcend time. For it allows you to put off until tomorrow what you bought today, while you are still paying what you bought yesterday.

I don’t let birdies and pars get in the way of having a good time

It’s not you, it’s me.” This line could signify rejection, or it could be something I say in the future, when I’m talking to one of my clones about another one of my clones.

Victor patted my hand. ‘I like you, Sky. You’re a fighter.”I am, aren’t I? Hear that, Zed? No more bambi comparisons. I’m a Rottweiler -with a temper.”A very small Rottweiler,’ said Zed, still not convinced.

My writing, it’s all I have. Well, aside from my health. And shelter, food, and clothing. Oh, and my cat.

Throughout the course of the day, Bobby Tom’s irritation over his artificially oiled and dirt-smeared chest and his unzipped jeans had flared into righteous indignation. They were treating him like a sex object! It was...

The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition ofthe word “Infinite”.Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some.Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, atotally stunning size, “wow, that’s...

What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

I Twitter (or Facebook) therefore I am

Mom has the Touch. She knows what flowers go with what occasions, what hors d’oeuvres work with what people. She believes passionately in the power of food to heal, restore, and stimulate relationships, and she...

The Book of Us. I’m writing it. And you’re in it.

So where’d you park the car, Max?”I don’t know. I couldn’t see over the wheel.”That’s okay. I think I can smell it.

Everything you swallow will kill you, some faster than others. Swallow your pride, and you’ll love a long time.

And a special thanks for not burning up the whole ship. Including yourself, you daft bum-rag.

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don’t get asked to do it again.

I can do a week in a weekend. That’s not how efficient I am, that’s how little I work.

Think that street lingo was the street lingo about eight decades ago, Hanna. So now it’s just lingo.

I wrote half this book (the left half) while I was asleep, and I wrote the other half (the top half) while daydreaming. So here we have a case where two halves equal one quarter,...

One of the first things we teach medical students is to listen to the patient by taking a careful medical history. Ninety percent of the time, you can arrive at an uncannily accurate diagnosis by...

I love body language, because I can speak it without talking, without listening, and while my back is turned.

I’m not the one going for a biology degree. I’m just a philosophy major who eats people.

He’s in a side room alone with her and it’s far too fucking hot.

but will you stay with me one more night? I’m not quite ready to let this go.

I look at the check once more and then fold and tuck it into my bra. It’s not every day a girl gets to be up close and personal with this much money.

I’ll steal bodies, not to be Corporal Corpse, but to have access to a never-ending supply of laughter still left over in their lungs.

I don’t see how it’s doing society any good to have it’s members walking around with vague memories of algebraic formulas and geometric diagrams, and clear memories of hating them.