Dancing? Not only do I have two left feet, but they’re different sizes. And I don’t put them in shoes—I store them in glass jars in my basement.

Constance: Tell me, what happened to William’s little maid? I never saw her again after that dinner.Mary Maceachran: Elsie? — She’s gone.Constance: Oh, it’s a pity, really. I thought it was a good idea to...

I’d like touch screens better if they were furry, like cats.

I had a dream about you. Two empty benches sat on a man, and I jogged by but did not stop, because I knew if I did I’d fall asleep and that damn tortoise would...

Suddenly, I saw ocean again—then another horizon line—but this time the deep blue sky was on the wrong side of the line…the Holy crap, we’re upside down side.

You’re just Little Miss Optimist, aren’t you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?

I mean, if 10 years from now, when you are doing something quick and dirty, you suddenly visualize that I am looking over your shoulders and say to yourself “Dijkstra would not have liked this”,...

I’m willing to die for my beliefs, but over the course of a lifetime and not all at once right now.

I’m Allen Walker!”My life….is over…I’m going to die….

Dinner is served. It’s chicken lo mein. Oh and by the way, your cat is missing.

I know a lot about forming personal connections with people. Not from, you know, personal interaction or anything, but from reading about it alone, in silence.

Life has a whimsical way of kicking you in the throat. I find it tobe one huge cosmic joke at our expense, only nobody is laughingbut the forces that be—given that they are even a...

Just wanted to remind you that we’re out of milk again. And hot sauce.””Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together.””I suspect Shane. He’d put hot sauce...

Before I begin, may I ask how old you are?””You may ask.””How old are you?””It’s none of your business

Make yourself interesting to history. Master some aspect of life, and then find a different area and do something crazy. Become a painter, then round up a herd of cattle and slaughter them with your...

You take all the fun out of life for me, Nik. You know that?” Aiden- Blood Hunger (Deathless Night Series #1)

I had to put away my toy so it didn’t get lost. After all, cats can’t read maps or ask for directions, and they don’t possess GPS.

Just making the cement now, only takes five minutes.””I did it in four once,” Pauly whispered boastfully to Johnny, “but if I’m honest, I was never completely happy that it set properly.””Who was it for?””Big...

And Nedley started saying,’Shut Up!Quit that! And i knew it really meant something to him. So I asked for his help,”Mark said. “Don’t tell the story like that,” Nedley laughed. “What he said was ‘Quit...

At the dealership, I pulled out the sieve and toyed with it threateningly. When the salesman was ready for me, I held it up, told him I was not a tourist and demanded a large...

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

The most dangerous flower is one that grows on a grave. Everybody in its vicinity is dead. That’s why I hand-picked it for my mother-in-law.

Wake me for the massacre, okay? Don’t want to miss it.

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts.

I want a job with a great deal of freedom, like riding on the back of a bald eagle.

Humor is just another defense against theuniverse.

Instantly, the pair fell to groping one other as if each had puff the magic dragon at a rock concert in Woodstock.

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

I played hard for four quarters, and I took home a dollar. And with college being about pay to play, I earned my spot on the bench.

Get out of bed and feed me already, person!

I believe in the power of love. Also, I like cats.

This (San Francisco) is the most beautiful city in America, Probably because it looks nothing like America

Playing with fire Kitten?

I was compared to Charles Bukowski yesterday. It was the best and worst compliment I’ve ever gotten.

Men are so easy to manipulate, poor things.

I was spotted at a Communist meeting. I got caught red-handed.

Edwin is prepared to believe that a glass exists. And further, that this glass holds liquid.

In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship—he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still...

My wife and I aren’t a match. We’re a match and gasoline.

I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything.

‘When did you first fall in love?’ ‘I think, I first fell in love when I was in fifth grade with this boy who kept his glass ruler in the sunlight and made rainbows on...

Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

When I went in the secret chamber, Thor was indeed there. A small room, the walls are entirely covered with loose slips of paper with math formulas on them, along with dirty napkins pinned up...

When someone tells you somebody’s been murdered, laughing is probably not the best response. You know, for future reference.But laughing is exactly what I did.

An empty coffee cup is full of hope. Now there’s something worth voting for.

All sorts of people are calling themselves kings these days.

You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!

Ja, het is best een leuk bedrijf, al zitten er hier en daar een paar lijken in de kast.” Ik kreeg het angstige voorgevoel dat ze dit letterlijk bedoelde. “En welk bedrijf heeft er nu...

Ein Buch ist ein Spiegel wenn ein Affe hineinsieht so kann kein Apostel heraus gucken.

You’re not doing a good job of selling me this dumb fantasy. I’m not climbing into the back of your van if I have to be Robin. I’m Batman. That’s how these things work.