The Chinese food arrives. Delicious saliva fills his mouth. He really hasn’t had any since Texas. He loves this food that contains no disgusting proofs of slain animals, a bloody slab of cow haunch, a...

You were abducted by space aliens. Of course you want egg rolls.

Dinner is served. It’s chicken lo mein. Oh and by the way, your cat is missing.

I had a dream about you. You were cooking me dinner, and I was standing by the stove questioning your every move. You found me ungrateful, and I found the number for Chinese takeout. I...

I’ve eaten cat food before. Of course, the menu listed it as “Chicken Lo Mein.

Chinese food in Texas is the best Chinese food in the United States except Boston.