Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I’d start writing poems about suicide.

Age is the first limitation on roles that I’ve ever had to encounter, and I hit that awhile ago.

I only take Viagra when I’m with more than one woman.

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away.

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a...

Just let the wardrobe do the acting.

My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I’d hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I...

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award.

I’ll tell you one thing: Don’t ever give anybody your best advice, because they’re not going to follow it.

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

Most of the early part of an actor’s career, you do the jobs you get.

my mother never saw the irony of calling me a “son of a bitch

Because you know, down deep in my heart, when all is said and done, I still live under the illusion that basically people think of me as an up-and-coming young actor.

The blues and jazz will live forever, … So will the Delta and the Big Easy.

I’m a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film.

If they’re just off by 10 percent this year, we’re wiped out. To be conservative we have to recognize it could happen like last year.

Once you’ve been really bad in a movie, there’s a certain kind of fearlessness you develop.

With my sunglasses on, I’m Jack Nicholson. Without them, I’m fat and 60.-Jack Nicholson

[Tom Cruise:] Did you order the shredding? … You’re damn right I did!

I’m an actor who they said was wrinkled and balding and everything else when I was in my early 30’s. Most of the people who wrote that who thought they were younger than me are...

I have a lot of vanity.

The blues and jazz will live forever… So will the Delta and the Big Easy.

I don’t want people to know what I’m actually like. It’s not good for an actor.

Financially, I’ve lost money and made money, but I know my way around financially.

You are not talking about rates going sky high even in a worst case scenario.

I’m Irish. I think about death all the time.

Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.

The minute that you’re not learning I believe you’re dead.

There’s only two people in your life you should lie to…the police and your girlfriend.

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

Well. . . That’s quite a story.

I’m not hard to get along with.

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to the top. It’s sure been tough on my nails.

Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And what is a younger woman? I mean, I’m pretty old. Almost everyone is younger.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch

I don’t have any fear of intimacy, but rather thrive on it, which is rare in a public person.

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television.

I’m the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy.

It was anticipated there would be times when the cash won’t be there and we’ll have to issue bonds. That’s how it was always supposed to work.

Well, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I haven’t been a rogue most of my life.

We’d be in tough shape.

I don’t have any plugs or tucks but people do what they want. I look at it as mutilation.

What’s beautiful is all that counts, pal. That’s ALL that counts.

I’ve been too many places. I’m like the bad penny.

[Streisand tells Democrats it’s time to stop playing defense and go on the offense:] I hope you’re through arguing among yourselves and distancing yourselves from President Clinton. … Bipartisanship only works if you trust the...

When I am cast in a movie where I feel that the woman’s part is more interesting, I usually start thinking about Spencer Tracy and Fred Astaire. They seem to be the most clear actors...

The truck driver appeared to just be distracted and didn’t see the bus stopped.

I know I can act. There aren’t too many other jobs I know how to do.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

I’ve never been able to say I’ve been influenced by a list of artists I like because I like thousands and thousands and I’ve been influenced in some way by all of them.