My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

The greatest tragedy to ever happen to a nation is not the incidences of war or terrorism. It’s when more bookshops close down and more drinking bars are opened to replace them!

Everyone drinks more during a recession; they want to forget.

People are crazy about food, smoking, drinking, girls but not about their dreams.

I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named Brandy who only drinks sherry. Then I’ll offer each one of them one magical night of sex with me,...

Tonight, I decided to take a stroll down to my local liquor store. Maybe I’ll find a refreshment to wash down this full moon. I hate showing up & the clerk fucking knows my name,...

Take this drink as a token of my disrepute and spin that hay tonight and tomorrow it will be shining golden bright in whatever heavy delirious weave you wish to make.

Never go for a drink in London’s square mile, nobody ever gets a round in.

Take this drink as a token ofmy disrepute and spin that hay tonight and tomorrow it will be shining golden bright in whatever heavy delirious weave you wish to make.

If you have children, you don’t want to have drugs and drinks in the house. It’s just not good.

The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.

People keep asking what I do for a living and I keep saying that I don’t believe in making a living. That it’s a concept that has been twisted. I tell them I believe in...

It’s interesting how interesting uninteresting people get after a few drinks.

There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said “You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm”. At the time this was the last thing on my...

Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty.

Now tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws but that doesn’t mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably has betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied...

Drinks heavily loaded with ice are reasonably effective, but the best way to cool down is to cuddle with a recently deceased person.