Partying means drinking. It also means playing records by Lou Reed and Chicago, which I thought was a city but is also a band it turns out.

A drink centers me but I usually make myself wait until at least 9:00 PM for that. Or 8:00 PM. Whichever comes first.

She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!

I drink screwdrivers because they help me unwind.

I am the Today Monster, and I’m hungry for yesterday. And I’m thirsty for coffee, which is like drinking tomorrow.

She pours sugar on her life and drinks the artist’s marrow in the bone of her glass and she lives.

Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.

Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer.

I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer.

Maybe some folks are alcoholics and others are just voluntary drunks. Maybe some folks drink due to body chemistry and others due to their lazy characters. Maybe some have drinking problems, while others have problems...

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love.

Ive created a new drink! I’m calling it the Piñata Colada! Its sweet and tasty, but when you wake up the next morning your head feels like its been hitten with a stick.

No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done with out it.

I’m an all-the-water-I-can-drink-in-a-flower-vase kind of lover. Roses and batteries sold separately.

I’ll tug at your breasts like a thirsty child. Try not to burn your nipples in my hot coffee. While you’re at it, I also like sugar in my coffee.

I added five shots to my coffee, because that’s all the bullets my magazine can hold.

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today!

People can drink with their eyes; I can eat with my nose.

I can’t remember what the last film I saw was, as I can’t smoke or drink in cinemas.

Wealth is like sea-water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become; and the same is true of fame.

If we could all drink ourselves to innocence, I’d be guilty. And I mean that in a way that I don’t mean that.

You drink wine by the glass, and I drink wine by the trashcan. Seriously, I’ll be by the trashcan if you need me.

For me to enjoy a salad, I need the right dressing. Vodka is salad dressing, right?

Taking a break. Been working solid for the last few hours, as opposed to working liquid, which is more drinkable. Can I pour you a glass of productivity?

A friend comes over with a Ouija board.It spells out: Bourbon. Where’s the band?Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.

I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven’t had a...

Tired of nagging your kids to hurry up, get dressed, drink their milk and brush their teeth? Here’s a radical idea: Don’t.

I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.

But a year before that, I was starting to drink beer on the set of the film Lucas (1986).

It’s six o’clock; my drink is at the three-quarter mark – three-quarters down not three-quarters up – and the night begins.(“New York Blues”)

The best way to hide a body is to convert it to saltwater and then dump it in the ocean. But whatever you do, do not drink it!

Dell had left the army and taken the discipline home with him. I’d left the theatre world and taken the whisky sodas home with me.

Imagine a delicious glass of summer iced tea.Take a long cool sip. Listen to the ice crackle and clink.Is the glass part full or part empty?Take another sip.And now?

It’s raining and my clothes are all wet. They are so drinkable! So is my love for you, but I left that in the river, along with the umbrella.

Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

I eat east and west, and I eat them at the same time. But I drink my coffee north to south.

I can’t convince you to put the drink down if you’re an alcoholic, you have to want to do that. I can’t convince you to stop eating the cookies when you’re a diabetic. You have...

Far above him a few white clouds were racing windily after a pale gibbous moon. Drink all morning, they said to him, drink all day. This is life!

I like to drink when I travel. It enhances things, don’t you think?

Drinking tea with a pinch of imagination!

Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?

I like grape juice. Fermented grape juice—wine. It’s the drink of choice for champions. I know because I asked a bunch of winners.

I’m thirsty for your love. I hope you don’t mind, but I drank straight from the carton—without even checking to see if it had expired.

Coffee has a way of waking me up like no alarm clock can. Not only do I sleepwalk, but I sleepdrink, and I often don’t wake up until 5:00 PM, when I leave work.

In an underdeveloped country don’t drink the water. In a developed country don’t breathe the air.

I never trust a fighting man who doesnt smoke or drink.

A drink a day keeps the shrink away.

Go sip on gossip, and leave the coffee talk for me to chug. I’ll be in the kitchen, giggling like a schoolgirl if you need me.

Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much.