Even when I was living below the poverty line as a novelist, I was still living better than 99.5% of the human population of the world. But in my little, soft realm of trying to...

Twitter is so severe, you know? And it’s completely for free, it’s scattershot, and it’s very easy to feel embarrassed. It’s hard to be artful with it. It’s like a ticker tape. It’s not a...

Now, all writing – all the arts – are a form of ‘Pay attention to me,’ but there’s also the flip side. Like, I want to give something. Let me entertain you, let me amuse...

Mostly I have to try to censor myself so as not to write things that will hurt other people, or that will go too far.

I grew up in northern New Jersey – the banlieue of New York – and I now live in Brooklyn. I am separated from my parents by about 50 miles, but really there is almost...

When I was in college, I had the good fortune to have Joyce Carol Oates as my writing teacher. She told me that I could take an aspect of myself, and from that one bit...

As a child, I wanted to be an athlete, a professional tennis player or something like that.

Something has happened where you almost never grow up in America. Maybe it’s the greater wealth.

A lot of writing is a form of seeing – putting down what you see in terms of action and landscape.

I like cliffhangers, with the hero in trouble at the end. I used to go on real benders I don’t do that anymore. But when you go on bender you never know what’s going to...

For me, the past is dead. Can’t go back.

People don’t expect too much from literature. They just want to know they’re not alone with being confused.

There are so many talented young writers named Jonathan, with whom by comparison I suffer terribly.

I don’t really recognise success. I don’t see myself as on an upwardly mobile trajectory. I see myself as on the edge of a cliff about to fall off.

By saying I’d been up on the roof, I hoped to prove that I had intimate knowledge of how and why he’d died. It was my ego asserting itself: I was there, we were good...

I am part of a vast generation of people who perpetually live as if they just graduated from college.

No, I’m not very productive at all. I’m probably like an animal. I mean, great animals in the ocean feed all the time. I’m someone who procrastinates, worries, for most of a month, and then...

There’s no shortage of material in life.

I’m actually much more shy and self-conscious than people’s perception of me.

(S)ex scenes and bathroom jokes are my bread and butter.

I didn’t play or like a lot of board games as a child. I liked playing with my G.I. Joes and making up adventures for them.

I am always the source of the worst rumors about myself.

To write about a place, you have to live there.

Having a show get canceled is like, ‘Oh, you have caviar between your teeth,’ you know what I mean? Because you had a show in the first place.

I don’t laugh that much, but I do like humorous books, and I like to entertain readers that way.

I drink coffee. Without coffee, I probably couldn’t write.

I don’t have ADD, but I only like to pay attention to the things I like to pay attention to, and things like getting a TV and getting the cable working are beyond me, and...

I have very few hobbies. In fact, I have no hobbies.

I don’t like to publicly acknowledge being a Jew.

For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone. Perhaps if I was depressed and isolated, just communicating with these authors through their sentences helped me.

I don’t know that I’ve gotten much feedback directly from the literary world; sometimes I doubt even the notion that there is a literary world, though I guess there is or was.

I’ve always been inspired by Don Quixote as a role model of sorts, of the power of books to sort of make you insane in maybe a beautiful way.

I promote my own self-hatred.

I need to stay in the present and use that new-age mantra: ‘I’m okay right now.’ But I worry about all the things I’m failing at every moment.

I don’t mind being ridiculed – well, I guess I would mind a little, but it would only last a few minutes – it’s all very ephemeral; it doesn’t really matter what people think of...

The reason it’s hard for me to tweet is I don’t want to pronounce anything, and Twitter is for pronouncing.

I’ve really never written about my relationships, or things like that. I wouldn’t want to divulge things that were too private.

I might have some sort of personality disorder. I might not have proper filters; it might be some kind of version of Asperger’s meets Tourettes meets prose.

I wish I was the kind of writer who would go to a war zone and write about something that’s meaningful and important to people, but that’s not my area of coverage.

I don’t like rides. I take everything in life quite literally, and so I genuinely feel terrified on rides and liable to vomit at any moment, and I hate to vomit even more than I...

It’s hard for me to think of writing a novel, because it takes so long.

A lot of writers, probably because they’re sensitive, which makes them want to be writers, have fears about their masculinity, so they overcompensate by having an interest in boxing and tough-guy things.

I’m a somewhat isolated person in my own way, or I move along a little trail, I go this place, I go that place. It’s not like I’m varying my exposure.

I’ve always liked police-blotter kind of writing, or the writing of a policeman, right to the point and hardboiled. That’s how I see at least the prose elements of scriptwriting.

It’s hard to leave New York: this is where my friends are, my parents are. It is so vital. The whole world seems to look to New York.