If I were a betting man, and Thank Vegas I’m not, I’d say this bartender looks guilty of murder. Or maybe he just looks drunk. Possibly the two looks are identical.

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” And I’d have to agree. Serves them right for being so sleazy.

Duke!” and the bartender threw me out, because he was a Chapel Hill fan, and I was drunk.

A bartender is a Keeper of Secrets. Drunk, senseless, useless secrets.

I’ll bet Ryan Lilly drinks coffee like a flower—a lily. I drink coffee more like two roses and a nose walk into a bar. I would tell you what the bartender said, but to be...

A wink and a smirk walk into a bar, and the bartender asked them what they were drinking, when all of the sudden a mustache in a cowboy hat riding a vagina runs through the...

Can I get you a drink?” Both mustaches turned towards each other but said nothing, because they’d each left their mouth at home.

The honky-tonk bartender, who doubled as bouncer, waiter, and cashier, was in no mood to compromise. Mercy was not in him. He came out around the open end of the long counter, waddled threatening across...

A father and son walked into a bar, and the bartender didn’t serve either because the one didn’t look old enough. And he was right. Who becomes a dad in middle school?

With this guy, two words come to mind: Probable murderer. But since he was the bartender, another word comes to mind: Understandable.

I rode my horse to the saloon, but it was out of business. The cowboy I spoke with said the bartender served the saloon’s last drink on March 5th, 1882. Guess I shouldn’t have taken...

The whiskey was a good start. I got the idea from Dylan Thomas. He’s this poet who drank twenty-one straight whiskeys at the White Horse Tavern in New York and then died on the spot...