Of all public figures and benefactors of mankind, no one is loved by history more than the literary patron. Napoleon was just a general of forgotten battles compared with the queen who paid for Shakespeare’s...

Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer.

We smoked fat cigars by the campfire and they tasted like wood and ash. The inhale and exhale was exciting. Blowing smoke rings in the calm forest air was followed by a deep swallow of...

A man who lies about beer makes enemies

Can you still want something you already have? Absolutely. Everyday.

Beer is made by men, wine by God.

I have always wanted to open up a brewery slash goat farm. Brew some beer, make some goat cheese, but that’s kinda dreamy.

Yo, I’m in position. Ready when you is.”Gareth cringed while crossing the wide concourse, checking both directions. The giant hallway was the main drag of a ghost town, its only residents a solitary custodian sweeping...

American culture enforces such rigid gender roles for male friendships that they are gay unless they materially resemble a beer commercial.

To have a man whose name is on the label showing such interest, commitment, and determination for the best is a wonderful thing. This is someone who will throw money at quality, who believes in...

Oh my God. I’m not Keith Richards. I’m Otis from Mayberry! A fucking drunk!

It’s an alien apocalypse! Quick, grab the beer!

The advertise their products in such a fashion as to make it seem wonderful to drink their ethanol products. It does not matter if they give their products fancy name like Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot...

Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin...

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. This isn’t correct. Revenge is a dish best served lukewarm or at room temperature (depending on the room) with a side of sauerkraut lightly sprinkled with...

To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that’s why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle.

Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

I mulled over what he had told me as I savored the Scotch. Not bad, really — like a beer that’s been in a brawl.

She picked up the stout and took a sip. It slid down her throat like silk.

I gave her a sideways bitter beer smirk, and then I ripped a whole chicken apart and threw it at the waiter and said, This place is too weird for me.

I don’t like water.

I’ve been to Australia.I’ve met the devildrank beer and snogged kangaroos.

I drink wine like beer, only twice as much less.

If I only drink beer, nothing stronger, then by the end of the night I can generally recognize myself as a reasonable human being, and more importantly, wake up that way.

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you...

Driving down deserted early morning roads. Round and round. Round downtown. Through naked streets. Lips pursed on two litre bottles of beer, but pursuing the lips of freedom’s night. Swapping cars. Winding up at karaoke...

I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.

I’d tried to straighten him out, but there’s only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer.

Beer is my coffee.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.[misquote of a letter about wine, see quotes/831031]

but does it have a winning taste? I’d hardly call silver a champion flavor. No, I’ll stick to my red wine.

Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.