Don’t be a critic. The critic is to art what the limp penis is to sex.

Yesterday, here in the middle of the City, I saw a wolf turn into a Russian ex-gymnast and hand over a business card that read YOUR OWN PERSONAL TRANSHUMAN SECURITY WHORE! STERILIZED INNARDS! ACCEPTS ALL...

Telling a woman that you will be unable to climax unless you are looking at her in a mirror is, in my experience, an excellent way to ensure the only place you will ever see...

Consuming pornography does not lead to more sex, it leads to more porn. Much like eating McDonalds everyday will accustom you to food that (although enjoyable) is essentially not food, pornography conditions the consumer to...

It’s been a while since I’ve had sex. I figured it was just like riding a bike, the only difference is that after a while, the bike doesn’t turn you over and ride you.

My essay had evolved into thinking about fucking. You could be raped a thousand times and still be a virgin. I was writing about fucking by a master and fucking as a slave, about Hegel,...

Coffee is a girl who never tells a boy no.

I sure wasn’t going to ask Aunt Sally, because if she told me once that getting your period was like a moth becoming a butterfly, she’d probably say that sexual intercourse was like a deer...

You know how most illnesses have symptoms you can recognize? Like fever, upset stomach, chills, whatever. Well, with manic depression, it’s sexual promiscuity, excessive spending, and substance abuse – and that just sounds like a...

Lovers do things together! They rent videos, they ride Ferris wheels, they go out for pizza, they play Scrabble. They . . . they talk!”Talk?’ He lifted his head and frowned, his eyes puzzled. ‘We...

Illicit sex, Marcus, drives at least half the decisions of the modern world, wouldn’t you agree?

…he glanced over his shoulder at her, regarding her, as he often did before they made love, as if she were a lost continent about to be rediscovered.

On top of everything else, Boobie’s got the clap.

You found the way, didn’t you?” What’s so wonderful about it? I thought. Dogs do.

If this were a different time, a different place, I would take you to bed with me and make love to you for days,” he said, his voice slow and deep and intent. “I would...

Vainglory, however, no matter how much medieval Christianity insisted it was a sin, is a motor of mankind, no more eradicable than sex.

Perhaps the most important sexual tool is consciousness. If we think we are “not enough” or “too much,” we surely are. Similarly, when you give a gift, create artwork, or perform any task with the...

Italians give their city sexes, and they all agree that the sex for a particular city is quite correct, but none of them can explain why. I love that. London’s middle-aged and male, respectably married...

Cuddling was for great aunts and teddy bears. Cuddling gave him cramp.

I’ve never had vanilla sex before. There’s a lot to be said for it. But then, maybe it’s because it’s with you.

I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.

There we were, filled with pure animal need, as he pinned me to the wooden table, and cruelly whipped my naked bottom; the two of us sweaty and panting, me screaming, him grunting, our primal...

An internet phenom named Laciis quite intelligent and yet, racyIf you think you’re well readJust give her your headSexy facts can, in fact, be quite tasty

People have sex, even the religious ones. Yet, when sex is transferred into words, suddenly it’s dirty, vulgar, immoral, trashy. Funny huh?

Possibilities…in the closet…itching…to break out…but afraid of…the fallout

jinn . . . occupy bodies which are in a liminal state . . . when consciousness is a sheet of copper beaten down, mirroring only the moment

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it’s so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you’re double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few...

Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it...

Be good to people only if you like anal sex. That’s how kind people are.

I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bits. It was the best sex I’ve ever served to an unsuspecting customer.

I wondered how a man ever got an English girl into bed. What did they do with her hockey stick?

DuendeI can’t remember her name.It’s not as though I’ve been in bedwith that many women.The truth is I can’t even rememberher face. I kind of know how strongher thighs were, and her beauty.But what I...

I had a dream about you. You wanted to go for a walk, and I wanted to start a parade. I suggested we team up, but you said you’d rather have sex with a cactus....

Me,” he said.

I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy.

With sex, I’d recommend practicing a lot. But remember, have fun with it. After all, you do want to get your money’s worth.

If I were a hermaphrodite, and someone told me to go fuck myself, I’d reply, “Why thank you. I think I will!

I make love with the accuracy of Joe Montana, and from a distance of up to 100 yards.

Me mating with a midget is like a skyscraper having sex with a cathedral. But still I’d like to try. Just not while mass is in session.

It was a dumb mistake, sleeping with her, and I learned from the experience. Still, I’d gladly make the same mistake tonight if she calls.

When I masturbate, I pump my hand so fast it’s like a hummingbird blur. But I make love like the anti-hummingbird. In fact, in bed I’m so slow with my love making it’s almost indistinguishable...

Due to unfavorable weather (or, rather, favorable), we couldn’t make love in the rain. So instead we had sex in the shower, despite grandpa taking a bath in it.

My bark has meow, and in bed I’m in the moment like instant coffee. Do you prefer cream or sugar in your orgasms?

I’m sexually attracted to statues made out of decomposing food. Is it normal to be hungry during intercourse?

I want to undress you, vulgarize you a bit.

I wonder, though… what would it be like? To be that close to a boy and have him see all of you, no holding back. Would it be scary only for a second or two,...

He stabbed into her, driving deeply, repeatedly, iron-hard and demanding. She welcomed the piercing pleasure of his urgency, opening her legs wider, pushing her skirts away and wrapping her legs about him. His thrusts pushed...

Her cry was the saddest sound of orgasm that I had ever heard.

From an interview with Susie Bright:SB: You were recently reviewed by the New York Times. How do you think the mainstream media regards sex museums, schools and cultural centers these days? What’s their spin versus...

Someone this gorgeous should be on display in a museum.