I can fly around the world in one night. I can wink and go up a chimney in a split second. I can be in 500 shopping malls on the same weekend. I can even...

When the conversation turns too quickly to films,I see it as a sign of weakness.

Yes. They are the words that finally turned me into the hermit I have now become. It was quite sudden. I saw them, and I knew what I had to do.”The sign read:”Hold stick near...

Uh, excuse me, sir, I, uh, don’t known how to uh, to uh, tell you this, but you were three minutes late. The schedule is a little, uh, bit off.”He grinned sheepishly.”That’s ridiculous!” murmured the...

The chairs – turned towards one another in groups of twos and threes – seemed like the seats of ghosts in close conversation with one another. There were sets of two chairs – very close...

…in the worst of circumstances, the hypocrite who pretends to be good does less harm than the public sinner.

Warum wollen sie unbedingt, dass ich den Auftrag storniere?’ Der Mann klingt auf einmal misstrauisch. ‘Seid ihr überbucht?”Ich will Ihnen nur helfen. Wirklich, unsere Kurse sind grottenschlecht. Es ist immer die gleiche Teamwork-Botschaft, nur unter...

When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.

At my lowest point, when things were at their most desperate and uncomfortable, I always found myself in the company of Australians, who were like a reminder that I’d touched bottom.

Ah, Sir, a novel is a mirror carried along a high road. At one moment it reflects to your vision the azure skies, at another the mire of the puddles at your feet. And the...

Beneath the skin of everything is something nobody can know.

Beetroot Cossins had moved to Kuala Lumpur where she had died of lethargy and pie.

Man is an artifact designed for space travel. He is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole.

The past is an educational toy for the present. It should be discarded the moment its usefulness is outgrown.

pwede nga ring yung TV ang may sumpa. dahil ang TV, para ring drugs, pero ligal. isipin mo, bakit isa ito sa mga unang-unang ipinupundar ng mga Pilipino kahit gaano sila kahirap? kasi malaking tulong...

Theatres are curious places, magician’s trick-boxes where the golden memories of dramtic triumphs linger like nostalgic ghosts, and where the unexplainable, the fantastic, the tragic, the comic and the absurd are routine occurences on and...

But this bus was a bit too full. The driver only appeared to control the glass and metal around him. In reality, he was at the nose of a travelling paroxysm.

We drove 22 miles into the country around Farmington. There were meadows and apple orchards. White fences trailed through the rolling fields. Soon the sign started appearing. THE MOST PHOTOGRAPHED BARN IN AMERICA. We counted...

I’ve always felt I deserved a wider audience, so thank you for reading this.

Provided that nothing like useful knowledge could be gained from them, provided they were all story and no reflection, she had never any objection to books at all.

I suppose that in no educational institution can one become an educated person.

No quality imparts apparent strength to its possessors more effectively than faith. From hospital beds to battlefields, it is the iron that strengthens a man to confront his destiny.

What is the secret of life?’ I asked.‘I forget,’ said Sandra.‘Protein,’ the bartender declared. ‘They found something out about protein.‘‘Yeah,’ said Sandra, ‘that’s it.

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman

My new story collection won’t please everyone, nor was it meant to. Then again, not everybody lives in my world. If they did, I’d have to move out and find another world to write about.

My only regret is that I don’t have more to regret.

…his knees were held together by the skin-tight trousers, which consequently narrowed the aperture through which great quantities of malodorous, rancid dreck were shortly to emerge with great force. St John knew that this was...

Satire is a lesson, parody is a game.

Bride, n. – A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

I suppose that I found out two more constituents of the eternal engine: folly and curiosity.

Miss Mackintosh waved her arms wildly.”Oh, please stop, and let me guess,” she cried. “I shall go crazy with joy if I’m right. It was an old Peerage, and so she found that Lady Deal...

By educating me at home, my parents were able to give me individualized attention without the usual distractions that kids in regular school experience, like dating and friendship. Not to mention that traditional school can...

Laughter is the best medicine

The robots came bearing a gift and the name of it was “Plenty.”Plenty is a habit-forming drug. You do not cut the dosage down. You kick it if you can; you stop the dose entirely....

A man is angry at a libel because it is false, but at a satire because it is true.

Have a little sociological beano. As you said – in sociology one can do anything and call it work.

The old joke is that psychiatrists are doctors who can’t stand the sight of blood. Maybe they can’t stand it, but if they work where I work, they damn well better get used to it.At...

conservative n.A person who possesses an underdeveloped taste for tyranny.liberal n.A person who believes in liberty, but only for the state.

Excerpt from Magel’s Daughter:”I think we’re all like the lutefisk, steeped in poison, and then we try to clean it up for Christmas.

Quite possibly the only infinite power in the universe may be the human capacity for self-deception.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a family is defined as two or more people living together who are related by birth, marriage or adoption. In other words, the U.S. Census Bureau is run by...

The Macedonian Endeavour Channel was screening live coverage of the world series of the Who’s Got the Stupidest Name (WGSN) competition. First prize had already gone to Brian Burdock, a French Algerian with a penchant...

Irreverence is our only sacred cow.

You know, you’re rather amusingly wrong.

Tanto la marginalidad como la exclusividad pierden su sentido cuando se popularizan.

Akthent on thee latht thyllable.

I suppose that saves us from having to determine what to do with a butler who goes around killing people. It certainly reflects badly upon our domestic staff. Still, I shall miss him. There was...

A história de todas as grandes civilizações galácticas tende a passar por três fases distintas e identificáveis: a da Sobrevivência, a da Interrogação e a da Sofisticação, também conhecidas pelas fases Como, Porquê e Onde....

My dear countrymen, I hope that you will live to see the day when you learn to believe in other gods than a few movie whores and a couple of prize-fighters.

After having so nobly disentangled themselves from the shackles of Parental Authority, by a Clandestine Marriage, they were determined never to forfeit the good opinion they had gained in the World, in so doing, by...