In the light of the crappy little lamp, all I was looking at was a frizzy mop of blonde hair and a bare back with one big angry red patch on it, but Jesus fucking...

Ha, ha, ha, ah it’s been great chatting with you, too, Mr. President, and—”Reagan cocked his head slightly, smiled, and caught the eye of a minion; a moment later Romney had been deposited outside the...

So we fell asleep holding hands. If married couples got to do this all the time, shit if I could understand how there were ever divorces, or even fights.

Oh, so do I. I remember George as always that kind of guy, he had your back, whenever you’d think to watch your back, you’d find him somewhere around there, ready for action with that...

Pain only matters when it happens to someone important.

… they only trusted the wisdom of people brighter and more worldly than themselves when it was expressed in the vocabulary and style of rural idiots. In his guise as Brazenydol, he had once had...

People who put principles before people are people who hate people. They don’t much care about how well it works, just about how right it is … they may even like it better if it...

Can I ask you something personal?”Six inches but I tell everyone eight.

I looked at the people playing, walking, loafing, hurrying, or sauntering across the little park in front of us. How many terrible stories were there, just there in front of me, never to be spoken?

Amatus waited a long time, but at last he broke the silence.”There is much I don’t understand.””That will never change,” Mortis said decisively. “Except that what you don’t understand will change.

This is not the way these tales end,” Calliope said firmly.”This is not the way that things end when they get to be tales,” Amatus said, “but since ours is not yet told, we cannot...

You know, when someone hurts my feelings, somehow it does not comfort me to know that it was deliberate… On the other hand, knowing that someone else thinks they are assholes helps a great deal.”...

On construction sites. Is that coffee ready?

Going into the Republican Party National Convention, in all objective truth, our non‑winning front‑runners are the sorriest collection of stuffed shirts, empty suits, self‑gratulatory ignorami, and outright wig‑flipped ding‑dongs in the history of the Republic.

Well, exactly. Think about how much that proves. If there’s a Hell and a Devil, there’s also a Heaven and a God. Once they have their Reagan back all they have to do is pray...