Stercus Accidit.[barren happens]

If walls could talk – scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments… well, things would be interesting.

I take my babies rare, and my virgins over easy.

The building is a tumbling house of cards behind me. The bus bitches are paper cutouts.

Don’t waste yer’ breath kid. Explainin’ anything to that one? It’s like tryin’ ta’ slap the dumb off a retard… -George Foster

The Death Mist is not for helping!” Akhlys shrieked. “It shrouds mortals in misery as their souls pass into the Underworld. It is the very breath of Tartarus, of death, of despair!””Awesome,” Percy said. “Could...

I’m so honest, that in order to compliment you, I’d improve you first.

One day I’ll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you’ll be in trouble.

I bet she thought she was getting into a fight with a vanilla wafer on roller skates but little did she know she was getting into a fight with a spider sandwich.

Malachi scowled. “I don’t remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane.””They didn’t,” Magnus said. “Your wards are down.””Really?” the Consul’s voice dripped sarcasm. “I hadn’t noticed.”Magnus looked concerned. “That’s terrible. Someone...

What’s next? You want to convince me they’re making another crap Last Airbender movie?

My mind reels with sarcastic replies!

The inextinguishable lesbian spark. You’ve surely heard about it? The one that was first ignited at Lesbos, because Sappho was so sad every time a young woman left the academy that she wrote her a...

He was the hardest person to figure out I had ever met, which was saying something. I knew girls, after all….

Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me.

You started the name calling.

But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don’t be amazed! That is just the nature of humans,...

If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?’ came a sarcastic voice near the head board. ‘Perhaps you could roll around on the floor.

if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it.

And sometimes when I’m feeling really evil, I read books or paint.

people don’t generally believe themselves to be evil. Just strong. And they think that the world owes them something

You’re supposed to pinch yourself – not the one you’re dreaming about.

You know, Gilan, sarcasm isn’t the lowest form of wit. It’s not even wit at all.” -Halt

sees something shiny and we lose her again.

I doubt he will be alive long enough to know Agent Smith.”Then I slammed the door.

No more shooting from anyone. Or I am going to get seriously cranky with everyone. Suddenly, and violently and all over the place.

We came around the corner and stood in the doorway of what looked like a paint-testing ground. This was where we proved once and for all that we were good loving parents. We decided to...

Oh no, praying is great, without it the thumbscrews and the Iron Maiden probably never would have been invented.

Mary,’ said her mother. ‘We don’t like sarcasm ‘ ‘You mightn’t like it,’ said Mary. ‘But I love it.

I don’t recall either of you asking me, you know I’m a lady and I need to be asked and agree to it.

You’re stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?

Ah, sarcasm. The final refuge of the desperate.

Yeah, it’s a kodak moment. Quick, take a picture.Sarah scoffs. I stick my tongue out at her.

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”And yet it is still extremely funny.

Don’t make me climb across this desk and slap you, because I will.

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don’t want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That’s why I’m constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.

Say this one time with me: “Would you like that in a pump or a loafer?”… Good. Now memorize it, because starting tomorrow, the only job that you’re going to be able to get is...

I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.

You’re about as delicate as an AK-47.

Where do you come up with these zingers, Clint? Do you own some kind of joke factory in Indonesia where you’ve got eight-year-olds working ninety hours a week to deliver you that kind of top-quality...

Don’t be ridiculous. Brussels sprouts are awful. Jail is just jail.

How can she create with all your negative energy?””Yeah, man. You’re bringing us down.””This is about as low as it gets,” Ariel said. “Where did you get those ridiculous black berets?”Moth adjusted his recently donned...

He checked his parachute and launched himself into the Sea of Sarcasm.–Havana Red

So the reason I was struck again and again was because of my overwhelmingly positive energy. Funny, I’d always thought of myself as a pessimist.

Hello, Jeff,” and sat down again next to my father.

Everything’s just fucking Disney with you.

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

She’s my best friend, and I know she means well, but as she talks I’m mentally calculating all the ways I could silence her. I’m bigger than her… I wonder if I could use my...

It’s now very common to hear people say, ‘I’m rather offended by that.’ As if that gives them certain rights. It’s actually nothing more… than a whine. ‘I find that offensive.’ It has no meaning;...

I need to ask, are you afraid of spiders?”Nicholas blinked, suddenly caught off guard, “Yes, I’m afraid of spiders.””Were you always?””What are you, a psychiatrist?”Pritam took a breath. He could feel Laine’s eyes on him,...