What?” she asked again.He pointed ahead of them. “See that?””What, the snow?””Beyond that.””More snow?””Stop looking at the snow.

If you can identify humor in problems then you will have less difficulties in solving them… Most importantly, “you should be able to laugh on yourself”.

A day without someone to hold you or a day without someone to share, is a day easily forgotten.’ – Vera Richardson in Mr Alhourani’s Dead Man’s Spots

When a man plans, a woman laughs.

The difference between doing something and not doing something is doing something.

The thought of talking about it made Pueblo’s gut ache, but then he thought of everything that Amy had been through – not that she’d told him her version yet. She had balls of steel,...

She didn’t want the medi-techs. She wanted a fucking candy bar. […] She reached down […] and chose a Galaxy bar […] “I’m going home.” “You didn’t pay for that,” Francois shouted after her. “Fuck...

Kevyn, I’m promoting you from Tech Sergeant to Munitions Commander. I want you to take responsibility for all Company weapons.Munitions Commander? Why me?I don’t know. Call it “suspicion of extreme competence” on my part.-Captain Tagon...

And I’m not saying it’s a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I’m saying is that if you get, I don’t know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid,...

don’t make me throw my boot at you, because I will, you grumpy high testosterone driven male

Harder! Harder! Strike at it, for the gods’ sake! It’s a Parthian, not your grandmother! I swear if you don’t put some effort into— What?

Yefgenii said, “The Americans spent millions of dollars designing a pen that would work in space. What did we do?” Gevorkian’s head was down, his eyes were down. “What did we do?”Gevorkian lifted his head...

Graham Chapman, co-author of the “Parrot Sketch”, is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He’s kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed...

It smells terrible in here.’Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find the atmosphere...

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.

‎”Your heart is in your chest. It supplies the blood to your cells. Even if you don’t think about it, your heart is always pumping. The heart is the most important organ in the body....

Chuck Norris CAN understand women.

Suddenly, a voice called from the darkness. Taylor leapt like a salmon, then became rooted to the spot like a tin of salmon.

Dying’s a fearful popular activity these days so we often double ’em up.

I have been told by the third grade teacher that my daughter Poppet is reading at middle school level. Yet if I leave Poppet a note in block letters telling her to feed the dogs...

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

We break our huddle and Eight immediately transforms into one of his massive avatars. His handsome features melt away, replaced by the snarling face and golden mane of a lion. He grows to about twelve...

The matter with human beans,” the BFG went on, “is that they is absolutely refusing to believe in anything unless they is actually seeing it right in front of their own schnozzles.

Doyle: “What is it now, then?”Cordelia: “Isn’t java supposed to be a coffee?”Doyle: “Ready to abandon the the Web project?”Cordelia: “No way. We have a chance here to make contact with the millions of people...

Being amongst rough lives and confusion does not make you less, it only makes your beauty shine out more clearly.

I paid for two seats at the back of the car to give my thighs breathing space. The gangly man sitting next to me used the extra space to spread his legs as widely as...

Her hair was pulled back so severely, it would have won approval from the Spanish Inquisition as a method of torture.

There’s one thing you don’t put in a trap, if you’re smart, if you value your continued existance, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never ever put in...

Gods, man, don’t you start now,’ I said softly. ‘We’re going to get a terrible reputation if we just keep travelling across the countryside crying all the time.

Mrs Guinea answered my letter and invited me to lunch at her home. That was where I saw my first finger-bowl.The water had a few cherry blossoms floating in it, and I thought it must...

Take it!” he snarled, hurling the diamond necklace across the table at his opponent. “And may you rot in hell with it!””I should not dream of intruding upon you there,” replied Mr Brundy, bowing deeply...

Keeping an active mind has been vital to my survival, as has been maintaining a sense of humor.

But in every church there are people who, for reasons which seem sufficient to them, do not approve of their pastor and seek to harry him and bully him into some condition pleasing to themselves....

In his essay,Agastya had said that his real ambition was to be a domesticated male stray dog because they lived the best life.They were assured of food,and because they were stray they didn’t have to...

St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents in the bonnet, which distinguished it from the more common and less powerful...

You should get a better boyfriend. One with an IQ higher than a turnip.

I knew that I was talented. I was positive about that. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was talented at, but I was ambitious enough to wait it out and see what turned up.

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy’s pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

La culture, c’est comme la confiture, moins on en a, plus on l’étale.

D’yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!”Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly,...

Having had virtually no contact with the outside world for the last few weeks, Evan had temporarily forgotten the social norms governing shopping conduct or approaching celebrities in public.

Well, Arminius, I can’t say you’re the most natural horseman I’ve ever seen.’Arminius sneered down at the men standing around him, then leaned out of the saddle and put a sausage sized finger in Double-Pay...

Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I’m going to ask you to sit still, or I’ll put you in the trunk.

The best thing to learn from any government is that it does not get affacted by what other people talk or think about it.

The reason God never fails is because he fears to fail

Never go for a drink in London’s square mile, nobody ever gets a round in.

If water was beer I’d be a teetotaler

On a good day, my style is librarian chic. On a bad day, it’s frumpy mother.

God is funny. He had a funny day when he made me. A funny, thoughtful, crazy day. He gave me a physique by which I would be so easily and so quickly judged, then gave...

I hate working with sexy women.” Dimitri Pissec.