Taste the rainbow bitch.

Perhaps the difference between a professor and a bus driver is that the professor can say stupid things with complete authority while the bus driver is not authorized to make brilliant insights.

It was supposed to say “Great Artist” on my tombstone, but if I died right now it would say “such a good teacher/daughter/friend” instead; and what I really want to shout, and want in big...

I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle.

The door banged open, and Eve rushed out, flushed and mussed and still buttoning her shirt. ‘It’s not what you think,’ she said. ‘It was just—oh, okay, whatever, it was exactly what you think. Now,...

I was part of a focus group once, but to be honest, I couldn’t concentrate.

Charlene says:I hope I can be a star. I want to be able to set goals so I know where I’m going. It feels like I’ve been sort of floating around without being sure where...

There is in every village a torch- the schoolteacher; and an extinguisher: the priest.

Sandwiches,’ she said, ‘like diamonds, are forever.

I had a dream about you. We were trying to come up with a hashtag to market our relationship. I suggested #fourlipsonekiss and #twomouthsonevoice, but you went with something confusing like #idontloveyou and #wearenotinarelationship.

Most scars are invisible. Damn transparent knives. Does anything cut deeper than love? I need to get some new body armor.

I’ve got yours.

Oh, hell, he’d look hot in a chicken suit.

My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.

[C]hildren were a much more difficult audience than adults because no on had yet had a chance to teach them that it was better to be polite than honest.

They can kill the Kennedys. Why can’t they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?

I dreamt it in my dream. You tried to steal my dream—the whole thing. But even though it was a dream, it was still too heavy for you to lift.

I used his severed hand as a murder weapon. I hope I didn’t get my fingerprints on his fingerprints.

Like a lot of stupid people, it took a great deal to get an idea into the king’s head, but once there, there was no shifting it.

Love is a gift you receive by giving. The more love you give, the more love you get. Try it out today, and try it out with me. Go ahead—give me all your love.

All trademarks, company names, registered names, products, characters, mottos, logos, jingles and catchphrases used or cited in this work are the property of their respective owners and have only been mentioned and or used as...

I like her just the way she is, Bran.” And he meant it, greasy overalls, broken fingernails, and all.

Calico KittyMy calico kittywas painted and primedshe could prowlthe night away ~without spending a dime…

01210 is a pyramid, & worms move like handicapped snakes. My dream belongs in a wheelchair, because I just spilled coffee all over my sleep.

She looks so serious. Why such a stern look? Oh yeah, somebody’s just been murdered. With all my diabolical laughter, I seem to have forgotten about that.

Oenone had found the chapel by accident, and was not certain what kept drawing her back to it. She was not a Christian. Few people were anymore, except in Africa, and on certain islands of...

We’re all trying to come to terms with our mortality. Well, except for me, because I plan to live forever through the miracle of cloning.

He’s wearing his official university sweatshirt again, which puzzles me a little. I mean I’d sort of understand it more if it said Yale or Harvard or something, because then it would be a fashion...

Am I on your walk of shame? You did sleep with the right MacGregor, didn’t you?

Maybe love is something we’re meant to say casually and not regard as a prize from a treasure chest that a person earns.

Don’t get mad, get everything. 🙂 Ivana Trump

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

I like you. It’s pretty nice you’re not dead.

The world may be running out of water, but it isn’t running low on music. Let the dancing flow!

Baby girl, five minutes alone with me and you’re gonna be begging me to taste your pie.

Ever notice that phrenologists have funny-shaped heads?

Are you insinuatin’ that my daughter is a liar?””Oh, no, not at all. I’m saying your daughter is a liar. Surely you can appreciate the difference.

I had a dream about you. I had a flat tire on the interstate, which is really embarrassing for a hitchhiker who is using that tire as a substitute for pants. You were the only...

Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing.

If you don’t beleve in yourself, who will?’ ~Maybeck

The issue, let’s pick it up in the AM. The mannequin, let’s pick it up now and dance like our stiff moves are cool and by design.

I’d been called a freak, and worse, all through school. Now that I’d finally graduated, I was sick of it. I’d hoped that no one would ever call me names again. Oh well, if wishes...

Anyone who thinks they’re too grown up or too sophisticated to eat caramel corn, is not invited to my house for dinner

Color is powerful. It is almost physiologically impossible to be in a bad mood when you’re wearing bright red pants.

Before bed I do a bit of light reading. I’m reading a 50-pound book on midgets.

Sometimes I ask myself, “Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?” And that answer, I’m afraid, is silence.

What I have been asking myself for years is: WHY?!Why kill yourself in the gym? Why try to avoid a little bit of a gut? Why feel bad for eating half of a cake? This...

It’s hot as a watermelon in this cantaloupe called pineapple. And that’s a fact.

The great thing about the Internet isn’t that you can reconnect with old friends or stay up to date with developing world events or send pictures of newborns immediately around the world. It is simply...

Now stand in the corner, and think about what you’ve done!