I’m predicting that we’ll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with ‘thought you’d be interested,’ and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
It doesn’t take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
The best you can hope for in a relationship is to findsomeone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It isfutile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someonewho is capable of significant change; that sort of personexists only in our imaginations.
We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
There’s nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
I love magazines. It’s such McNugget kind of information.
Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
My old life – no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.
You don’t argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn’t eat candy for dinner. You don’t punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don’t argue when a women tells you she’s only making 80 cents to your dollar. It’s the path of least resistance. You save your energy...
I’ve always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
You’re thinking I’m one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I’m not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body...
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
Lately…the Peter Principle has given way to the “Dilbert Principle.” The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
I’m surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.