The pimple is perfect.

One day comes after another and another and pretty soon you realize that yesterday was pretty damn long ago and that everything you had hoped for is never going to happen. You can’t control it...

I’ll pray for good semen. And I’ll get all of my friends to pray for good semen.

that you put a banana down your pants and walked up to the Palma-nator. It looked like you had one hell of a hard-on.

As I drove out the wrought iron gates I had entered, I noticed for the first time how intricate and beautiful they were. They were forged by hand so many years ago and had stood...

I was just thinking that he might be willing. It’s not like he needs his semen.

The sight washed over me like a damn wave that you never see coming until it’s too late and you’re face down eating sand.

Yes, I prosecute bastards like him, make them pay for what they did to innocent victims who can’t fight for themselves. And every time I win a case, I not only win for the victim,...

You deserve good sperm. You’ve waited a long time.