Well, I’m not kissing the mundane,” said Jace. “I’d rather stay down here and rot.””Forever?” said Simon. “Forever’s an awfully long time.”Jace raised his eyebrows. “I knew it,” he said. “You want to kiss me,...

Ik zou het ook niet fijn vinden om te horen dat mijn cupidoboog scheef is. Het is toch een beetje alsof je bovenlip scoliose heeft.

I had a dream about you; I’ve had multiple dreams about you. If I had to choose between the real you and the dream you then…Goodnight.

Three men walk into a bar. The third guy’s name is 333. The first guy’s name is The Second Guy, and the second guy’s name is I’m Not Lying. One of these men is not...

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

You aren’t really old until nothing is fun enough to make you forget the weather.

I want to type one of my books into a free online translation website, and convert it from English to German and then publish the results as an exercise in the absurd.

There’s no need to clarify my finger snap,” said Magnus. “The implication was clear in the snap itself.

…And so we go and I meet his parents. And it’s a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend’s boyfriend’s parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of...

Yes, we’ll yell, ‘Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese’.

Soul mates are said to be two souls destined to be together, programmed to recognize each other across time and space. I didn’t know whether that was the truth, but I was inclined to believe...

When she told me to sit down, I didn’t know where I stood with her. Ah, love—it’s like a chair. It’s always sitting, yet standing on its legs.

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

A pen is like a switchblade you can actually write with—and pull off a successful mugging with.

it’s okay if college isn’t your thing. I’m sure there’s a pole somewhere with your name on it, but next time you might not want to buy your tits off Craig’s List. Just sayin’.

And if I ever see you or your fake ass Chanel earrings around here again, I will shove my very real, very pointy Jimmy Choos up your prissy little ass. Do I make myself clear?

I am not really breaking any rules. Charlie said I could never take another step through the door again… I came in through the window… Still, the intent was clear,” said Edward.

Tell this guy to eat a hundred-calorie pack of dicks.

Writer’s Block is just an excuse by people who don’t write for not writing.

Any idiot can put up a website.

My STD test results came back, and sure enough, I’m a genius.

I’m sure Will’s tried,” said Jessamine in a bored tone.

Is this the reality you wanted?

I cannot say your worships have delivered the matter well when I find the ass in compound with the major part of your syllables […] our very priests must become mockers if they shall encounter...

There are more quarrels smothered by just shutting your mouth, and holding it shut, than by all the wisdom in the world.

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the...

Yes,” which probably wasn’t the same thing at all.

A person crying is like a sponge wringing itself out. Love is better than a sink that turns itself off without you having to touch the handle.

You’re amazing,” she whispered hoarsely.He pushed back the hair from her face. “You too.””How? All I do is let you play me like a piano.”He chuckled. “You’ve got a great keyboard.

My MOTIVATION was struggling..I got Tired of it!

Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.

Her family had of late been exceedingly fluctuating. For many years of her life she had had two sons; but the crime and annihilation of Edward a few weeks ago, had robbed her of one;...

I was very close to kissing her. The timing was right, and the mood was right, but the distance of two inches between our two mouths was just too far to traverse in the end.

Yes,’ he said sincerely. ‘Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants.

A nation’s not a child, for God’s sake. … It’s like a wild horse you tame by breaking it. Or a fiery woman you slap till she sees sense and warms your bed.

There’s an old, frequently-used definition of insanity, which is “performing the same action over and over, expecting different results.”… Now, I’m no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush...

Make a concise statement clearly and you should only need to say it once.

We suffered for our art. You have to suffer for our art as well!

You’ve got no sense of humor.””I’m going to laugh really hard after I kick your ass.

What we have here is a war—the war of matter and spirit. In the classical era, spirit was in harmony with matter. Matter used to condense spirit. What was unseen—the ghost of Hamlet’s father—was seen—in...

If I want to dress up like Princess Leia and lightsaber fight the clone army in my living room, well the Han Solo in my life is just going to have to accept it.

Mummy can we keep him?” Madeleine asked with the wide eyes of a burgeoning crush.”Darling, little boys make terrible pets,” Mrs. Masterson offered with a wink.”That’s not true at all, Mummy. They’re hypoallergenic, much easier...

If I can’t suck your milkshake through a straw, it’s not a milkshake–it’s a glass of ice cream.

You and I both know that love is for children,” he said. ”We’re adults. Compatibility is for adults.””Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,” Teresa replied. ”Only they get along just fine, and my...

That’s the unforgivable sin, you know.””What is?””Refusing to forgive someone.””Refusing to forgive someone is the unforgivable sin?” I asked incredulously.

Well, I always did want to go out in a Braveheart kind of way. I’ll just have to think of something cool to yell before they cut my head off.

What what what?” and I didn’t respond because I fell in love with her.

The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA.

I love the newspaper. I love reading fiction.

Food,” I suggested. “Sleep. That’s what I need. To get the hell away from here.”Cole frowned at me, as if I’d suggested “ducks” and “yoga”.