It wasn’t enough that I had to worry about playing well and winning the game, but I also had to deal with possibility that one of my teammates could be dragged off the field by...

Aside from criminology, I’d say archaeology has the highest body count.

We need to save the forests. I have a big warehouse we can store them in.

Something about this made Reynie uneasy. Had he done so badly? Was this meant to test his courage? He did as he was told, closing his eyes and bracing himself as best he could.”Why are...

I eat soup with chopsticks—and straws. And I make love with the surgical precision of a sledgehammer.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than Viagra. The tenth case was found to contain a lot of cash, and...

Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.

There’s not a person alive who is ugly. Now dead people, they disgust me.

So just bust a move!

After this, I can’t resist. “Between you, me, and the rest of us, Ted, it’s starting to show. You’d better work out, or getting fat off Daddy might be harder to hide.

I do a lot of screen re-writing.

Oh, yeah. That’s what you need, another shot.

It’s funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they’re always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay...

Kindness, motherfucker, kindness.

It was easier when all we wanted to do was eat them and take their stuff,” he grumbled.And it had been easier when he hadn’t cared if he made any of them cry.

I’m asleep.” You always were more romantic than me.

Remember, crowd doesn’t care about common sense.

I want to write a song based on my own childbirth. Of course, this is all a bit premature.

Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing...

After that came her biggie: a triple murder–her dealer, the dealer’s sister, and the dealer’s sister’s boyfriend.Reading that made me feel a little funny that we’d fucked and I’d loved her.

People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.

This is what my high school life had become—a horror show of epic, mind-fuck proportions.

Don’t you think ‘Mark is kind of a weird name for a Shadowhunter?” Julian was saying as Emma approached. “I mean, if you really think about it. It’s confusing. ‘Put a Mark on me, Mark.

The Prince of Hell shrugged. ‘Shit Happens

Simon turned to Jordan, who was lying down across the futon, his head propped against one of the woven throw pillows. “How much of that did you hear?””Enough to gather that we’re going to a...

Love dances in my heart like a nudist in socks. Boy, that jig is awfully jiggly.

… reading was hardly as practical a skill as being able to handle a dagger or use Allomancy?

eccentric.” Let this be a lesson in love.

After all, we paid great prices because of the virtual partitioning of Iraq.

I’d lick the water out of your bathtub, just to prove I love you—and that I’m not a cat.

There’s a couple of enemies to improv, and one of them is editing; when you edit on TV it makes it seem like it’s not really improv.

I’m like a sexually active bumper sticker. Canned vagina is always so hard to open and eat. Honk if you’re a lover—and in a hurry.

Or [take] the old cripple worried about choking on his vitamins or tripping if he tries to hobble over that wide crack in the sidewalk. He won’t be bound by mere experience – he renounces...

His loyalty has the consistency of a booger—sticky for a while, but easily flicked off. I’d probably love Prague in the spring.

Chase had looked at the apartment—online—talked to the real estate agent—online—obtained references—online.Now, standing in the hallway, it was obvious he’d gotten fucked—online.

A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real.

Unless you’re in an early seventies-era Eagles cover band, a founding member of a religious cult, or sleeping under a bridge in Seattle, lose the beard and get a haircut. Power doesn’t have time for...

I’d never been a good damsel in distress. I was a “hands-on” damsel.

Okay… My name is Ellie Mason and I have a feeling you don’t like me.” Kylie stopped and swerved around… “Okay, let’s get something out in the open. I know you had sex with Derek.”...

…and in repose one might have admired so fine a specimen of English manhood, until the foppish ways, the affected movements, the perpetual inane laugh, brought one’s admiration of Sir Percy Blakeney to an abrupt...

Who says you only get one? If you’re lucky, you will meet The One, The Two, The Three…..and so on.Nesta

You know what I hate? Indian givers… no, I take that back.

I had a dream about you. We were ice fishing in my freezer. I caught a few cold beers, and you wondered if we should drink them, or throw them back because they were babies.

My toothpaste tastes like baloney, so I brush my teeth with wheat bread. Guess what flavor my love is, and what kind of mechanical apparatus I use to make it.

Thought for the day: Twitter…140 character limit…must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers…

A man touched me: his hand… my thigh.I touched him too: my fist… his jaw.

I glance down his body. He’s still wearing his shorts and his shirt, and I still have my T-shirt on. Jeez– talk about wham, bam, thank you ma’am.

To answer your question, you want me because I’m made of awesome.

Impressive,” Court offered, gallantly bending to retrieve the shoe. “You should join the theater.””Fuck you.””I owed you that.””Revenge is a dish best served with a side of handcuffs and a hard ass-fucking. Remember that.”Really is...