I had a dream about you where you were an economic hero. So is the real life you like the dream you? Answer this question: If Paul Krugman and Ben Bernanke were about to die,...

HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or...

Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A brick could be used to keep yourself warm, and a blanket could be used in the construction of a house. But just like wearing your boxers on the outside of your pants, if you...

Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.

Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

Luis is right there.” I point to the corner of the yard, where my little brother is the centre of attention doing imitations of barnyard animals. I have yet to inform him that talent isn’t...

I went to the priest for confession, but he didn’t do it.

Erm…I don’t know maybe for kissing me and tasting so damn delicious, maybe for holding my hand in public, maybe for looking far too hot in that sexy, snug tee when you should just be...

We are far too screwed-up for a goddamned lovetriangle.”That’s my Jamie.

Sir Henry fixed him with a keen eye.’Odd name, Tom Skatt – eh?”Thats right”You don’t think we could be related?’Tom looked up at his great-great-great-uncle and smiled.’I don’t think so”No,’ grinned Sir Henry “no, of...

Parkour is non-contact.”I felt my face redden. How was I supposed to know all that guy crap?

It gets worse. Josh tell her that he loves her. She says it back. He touches her. She touches him back. And then they’re losing their virginity on the floor of her bedroom beside her...

I need a camera shutter on my penis hole. That way I could photograph political corruption from the inside.

Asked in 1919 whether it was true that only three people in the world understood the theory of general relativity, [Eddington] allegedly replied: ‘Who’s the third?

Broken Wind believed that we are traumatized as babies by intestinal gas or colic. The great shaman invented a technique called “gastral projection” to help release these traumas. His philosophy was simple: “To air is...

That’s all right,” she told him. “I can manage. I can sleep outside just fine.”Four pairs of eyes looked at her with a distinctly male skepticism.

If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.

Sorry for your loss’ Gordan said.His extended hand was immediately rejected with an if-looks-could-kill stare from Shelly’s father, who was, as of yet, oblivious to the fact that we had stolen the last of his...

We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there’s no wind.

I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side.

If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.

Gloves are condoms for the hands. My bare handshake might impregnate you.

The scientist believes in proof without certainty, the bigot in certainty without proof.

I’m bad and I’m going to hell, and I don’t care. I’d rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.

Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man.

Story Content Warning: There will be angst, sex, a little rough language and rampant lesbianism. If this is not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. If you are not old enough to read this,...

The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school.

In Jacksonville, there are more childrenless children than fatherless children. Barely. But that’s one bad thing that’s actually a good thing.

Though Alec had never seen the occupants of the first floor loft, they seemed to be engaged in a tempestuous romance. Once there had been a bunch of someone’s belongings strewn all over the landing...

You know how when someone is tall, people will compare them to a string bean? She, my friend, was like asparagus, but without the subsequent odor.

The three of us made love like one of us was a voyeur. I was the only one using binoculars as a sex toy.

But you see, a rich country like America can perhaps afford to be stupid.

I don’t know if it’s a woman’s tone of voice or training. Maybe guys are like, When I go home, I have to hear it. Right now I’m at work.

Screw sharks; a Transformer could be stretching up on its tippy toes and would still have a mile of cover to eat me.

I suggested she write down her thoughts” He said, “and, well, my daughter is a very thorough woman.””I can see that” Waxillium said.”I suggest that you never ask her to pass the milk” Wayne added...

Six minutes is a boiled egg.

Advice about love: When the green grape turns red, it’s time to separate the socks from the mittens.

Well, I’m sure there are people of Turkish origin wouldn’t want to do that, but external forces would try to influence the situation in Turkey.

You look good as a Pirate.” Erin”Ahoy, matey,” he said, laying her back against the grass. “Me cap’n’s ship needs a port.” V’ Aidan”Me cap’n’s port needs a ship.” Erin

I think we all should be in love once in our lifetime, even if we’re in love with someone who’s not alive in our lifetime. Long distance relations are hard, especially when you’re separated by...

I want to be a man of mountaintops: to scale the heights, achieve a sublime transcendence, and breathe in the thin air. Transcendence requires suffocation.

All right I think we’ve been down here in the dark long enough. There’s a whole other world upstairs. Take my hand Constant Reader and I’ll be happy to lead you back into the sunshine....

The thing we have in common is we both love to make love. Maybe one day we can merge our mutual interest and make love to each other.

always schedule your comeback.

He begged to know to which of his fair cousins the excellency of its cookery was owing. Briefly forgetting her manners, Mary grabbed her fork and leapt from her chair onto the table. Lydia, who...

My love is a flower. If you’d call that romantic, I’d agree and say it would look great on your grave.

She moved like water, graceful and soft and lovely. Every part of me wanted to stick out my foot and trip her, just to see her stumble.

Ignorance is not linear, it’s exponential.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.